Wicca’s Wardrobe @ Monthly Midnight Madness September 2018

Wicca’s Wardrobe @ Monthly Midnight Madness (September 7th -9th)

It’s time for Monthly Midnight Madness (MMM)!! What is that you ask?

MMM runs only from September 7th-9th at our main store. Items are exclusive to this event only and will not be available after September 7th-9th. There will be only 1500 available for each gift (0L$). On Sunday there are the ‘last chance’ vendors, that are active for 24 hours. There people can get the gifts for 50 L$, if they could not grab them before or they were sold out already. For our Wicca’s Wardrobe group the last chance vendors will be FREE!

First gift we will be offering is our Holly Corset & Skirt, the second offering will be the Holly matching jacket. The Holly set is made for Maitreya’s Lara, Belleza’s Freya, and Slink’s Hourglass.

Please keep in mind that MMM has strict rules for avatar complexity. If your complexity is more than 50.000 an orb will send you home. We have to do that to comply with MMM’s requirements to reduce lag and to keep the vendors working smoothly and without any issues. (It’s nothing personal, honest!)

MMM RULES & CATALOUGE: https://www.xxsaltandpepperxx.com/monthly-midnight-madness/

Taxi: Wicca’s Wardrobe

A Walk in the Park

Walk in the Park

You go for a walk in the park ’cause you don’t need anything
The hand that you sometimes hold doesn’t do anything
The face that you see in the door isn’t standing there anymore
In a matter of time, it would slip from my mind
In and out of my life, you would slip from my mind
In a matter of time
[Beach House]

Outfit & Accessories

Jacket: *COCO* – “Denim Jacket over Shoulders” (Maitreya)
Top: Maitreya – “Bali Boho Blouse” (Maitreya)
Pants: Kaithleen’s – “Frill Denim Shorts” (Maitreya)
Tights: Izzie’s – “Sheer Tights Basic” (Maitreya Applier)
Shoes: N-Core – “Rogue” (Maitreya)
Bag: GizzA – “Soho Tote Bag”
Glasses: EarthStones – “The Yesterday”
Necklace: Kunglers – “Melita”
Rings: .Drastic. – “Fairy Silver Rings” (Maitreya, Bento)
Nails: Nailed It! – “French Manicure Pastels Set” (Maitreya Applier)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: no.match – “No.Nothing” – NEW @ COSMOPOLITAN

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”
Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4,1”
Face:  Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses: Foxcity

Location

Model & Photographer

Wicca’s Wardrobe @ We ♥ RP September 2018

Wicca’s Wardrobe @ We♥RP September 2018

For this round of We♥RP we have a very special pair of gloves that we call Paxton. These gloves aren’t wrist length or even elbow length, they are ARM LENGTH! That’s right, they go all the way up to just under your shoulders. They do come in two parts, so if you really must have a short option you have one. Paxton comes with a HUD that offers 6 colors and a few metals choices for you to choose from. Paxton is made to fit only Maitreya’s Lara.

Taxi: We ♥ RP

 

New Group Gifts @ Wicca’s Wardrobe

2 New Goup Gifts @ Wicca’s Wardrobe

To show our appreciation for all our extraordinary group members we have our Sarah outfit with denim shorts and matching denim boots!

The Sarah Outfit is made to fit Maitreya’s Lara, Belleza’s Freya, and Slink’s Hourglass. The Sarah boots are made for Maitreya’s Lary only.

So come visit the store, pick up your gifts and do a lil shopping! We appreciate you!

TAXI: Wicca’s Wardrobe

Lost Paradise – What do you believe in?

I am not uberly religious, but some themes, which as well are shown in arts again and again, do catch my attention sometimes. I more believe in nature and the power of even that, instead of the church for example. Religion or the believe in god, spirits and ghosts are something very personal and we all have different experiences with that, so I would never ever try to convince anyone of my own opinions about that. I do believe in the thought, that energy never goes away completely (Conservation of Energy) and always gets transitioned into something else 😉

For me tings like the Wiccan cult – or some older forms of nature based believes – are way easier to believe in than god or even the church. There was a time, where I did believe in god and as well the church, but that did end with the death of my father when I was 7. He died because of stomach cancer and all I wanted to know – when I was 7 – was “Why?”. Why would that god, that I did believe in, allow that a disease would be able to take my father from me, when I still needed him so much. There was a group for kids at the church, which I was attending every week and after my father passed away I wanted answers. They had none besides the one the church always uses, if they can’t explain something – “The paths of God are inscrutable”. Tell that a 7 years old girl, which is kinda ripped apart – not really working out well. That was my first disruption I had with that. Later, when I did grow up and started to try to get to the bottom of everything I was told and what I learned, it became even worse… I questioned why god would let it happen, that in a war innocent babies get killed – after I they tried to convince me, that war is nothing god does, but the humans as all have their own ability to make decisions – babies who can’t even walk, talk, speak nor make any kind of deliberately decisions.

I read the bible – more than once, as I wanted answers and I wanted to understand – and the more I read, the more I again questioned so many things… for example, how can I believe in a god that breaks his own ten commandments in the bible? How can I believe in a god, that allows humans to murder in his name? I was taught god is good! I learned I never will get answers more than “God must have his plan” or like I said before “His ways are inscrutable”- which was not enough for me, as I always want to go to the bottom of things. Maybe that is the reason why I personally prefer science and nature over religion itself.

Like I stated at the beginning, for me it is way easier to believe in the power of nature. Nature is very rational and there are proves, that some things do happen as we see it everyday. There is stuff between heaven and earth, not all will notice – or not all will/want to understand. So everyone has the freedom to decide, what he or she wants to believe in Germany, which is something I highly value. I know it is not a matter of course everywhere in the world sadly.

What I had in mind for this pictures, was a modern version of Eve, paired with the believe in natural powers and the Wiccan doctrine – Something nature connected 🙂 (I still won’t believe, that the female should have been the only reason, that locked out the human species from paradise 😉 )

I LOVE the creativity of CURELESS [+] / CUREMORE, especially their gachas that contain those amazing, special and unusual/artistic torsos. This time it was the “Lost Paradise” gacha, which drew my attention. The gacha does not only contain wearable parts, but as well some cool creations for the scenery. The trees, which come with a HUD for the bones and the apples, the snakes in all colors and shapes and the apples on the ground are a perfect scenery. I wanted all kind of warm colors for the set and with the HUDs it was really easy to achieve 🙂 I added some other things to my look – you all know I really love mix and match. I had some amazing parts, which I could imagine would fit so well, like the hand branches from .Drastic. or the cool claws from E.A.Studio. Iam not a fan of ling empty legs – I stated that in past posts already – so I wanted something wrapped around my legs and certainly no high heels 😉 I wanted flat shoes… but I do not own many of those, as I rarely shop for flat shoes besides sneakers, heavy boots and those kind of style. So I was so happy, when I found the “Charro Flats” still sitting in my inventory. I know I got them at an event and then I never had the right look to use them – until today!

Again I was able to just play with stuff I got over the time and did not have to follow any deadlines. Sometimes I really do need that, as much as I enjoy blogging, sometimes I need my freedom. It is different, when you blog for a designer. where you have items you want to showcase in the focus in a very clear way, or if you just fool around with things. I really do enjoy both and I need both for my happiness 😉 It feels like 2 completely different challenges to me and I do enjoy both!

Outfit &Accessories

Torso: CUREMORE – “Lost Paradise / Eden Diorama” (Maitreya, Gacha, Rare)

Legs: Storybook – “Savage – Brown” (Maitreya)

Shoes: Eudora3D – “Charro Flats” (Maitreya)

Apple: CUREMORE – “Lost Paradise / Eve’s Apple” (Gacha, Rare)

Headpiece 1: CUREMORE – “Lost Paradise / Wreath (fire)” (Gacha)

Headpiece 2: La Biche – “Branch Horns (Toadstool)”

Choker: Moon Elixir – “Mushroom Thron Crown”

Hands & Rings: .Drastic. – “Walnut Hand Branches”(Maitreya, Bento)

Nails/Claws: E.A.Studio – “Obsess Claws” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: [KoKoLoReS] – “Leighton”

Makeup: Zibska – “Kane” (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: Zibska – “Folia Lips” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body; Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Body Tattoo: Astralia – “Forest Tattoo” (Maitreya, Ivy Elf Gacha)

Poses & Props

Poses:

Foxcity

Set:

CUREMORE – “Lost Paradise / Paradise Tree (Brown)” (Gacha)

CUREMORE -“Lost Paradise /Crawling Snake(Beige & Green)” (Gacha)

CUREMORE – “Lost Paradise / Crawling HeadUp Snake (Beige & Green)” (Gacha)

CUREMORE – “Lost Paradise / TreeHanging Snake (Beige & Green)” (Gacha)

CUREMORE – “Lost Paradise / Forbidden fruits (Fire, Red, Yellow, Green)” (Gacha)

Moon_Sha – “Wall Ivy 1 & 2 – Summer 1”

Little Branch – “WildGrass*1Li{Green}”

Location

Wicca’s Wardrobe (parcel beside the store)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Cherries!

Do you know that feeling? When you unpack something and immediately get an idea in front of your inner eye, what this should look like on your pictures? Usually I do not have that too often with my first piece that I put on, but sometimes it happens 😉

Today it was the case when I put on the Sakushi outfit and cap from Entice. I have no idea why – I did not see that movie in ages – but when I looked at it, I had a scene in mind from the movie ‘Catch me if you can’. The moment when Leonardo DiCaprio walked into the airport with all this blue dressed stewardesses. Maybe it was the cap and as well the vintage touch of that cherries, but I was stuck with that thought in my head.

 

As usual, that idea did not work out as I found no vintage airport that went with my 50s/60s idea for my picture. So I went back to my platform and tried to built me a set, that at least catches the vibe of what I wanted to do.

While I was rezzing all kind of things I remembered the propellers I got at one of the last FLF from NOMAD and they completely rocked. When I found them all the rest fell into place really easy 😉

Now I needed shoes, that went with my idea and when I saw the “Heidi Slingbacks” from [Gos], I first was curing as on the picture they only had flower prints showing and I could not imagine flower prints with my cherry dress. But, when I opened them and saw all the amazing different HUDs, I was doing the happy dance. when I found out that the red of the ‘Boutique HUD’ even matched the red of the cherries, I was sold 😉

When I was done with the pictures, I did some sim hopping and while I was roaming around,I found that fabulous “Time Portal”  location, with all those different mini locations of all kind themes and times and there was one 50s location too! They had a wonderful diner and as well this cute little pet shop, which you can see in the background of the first picture. As if it would have been fate, there was a bench with some really cool animations in front of it. One of the poses even had a vintage newspaper as a prop and I could not resist to just add one more picture in for this post.

I have to go back and explore this place some more and see what other cool posts I could do with inspiration of different centuries 😉

Outfit & Accesories

Dress & Hat: Entice – “Sakushi Baby & Cap” (Maitreya)

Shoes: [Gos] – “Heidi Slingbacks” (Maitreya) – NEW @ FaMESHed

Socks: Entice – “Sweet Dreams Socks” (Maitreya Applier)

Gloves: Sweet Tea – “Formal Gloves Essentials” (Maitreya Applier)

Necklace: :::NOIR::: – “Ava Chocker”

Glasses: Glamistry – “Sunglasses PU2003”

Ring: .:E.A.Studio – “Ring Opal Diamond Gold”

Bag: =Zenith= – “Spring Rattan Bag” (Gacha Rare)

Makeup & Hair

Hair: no.match – “No. Come On” – NEW (Groupgift)

Makeup: Izzie’s – “Aego Sal” (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: Izzie’s – “Fae Lipgloss” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses: Foxcity

Set:

Cigarette Machine: FIN – “Fifties Cigarette Vending Machine”

Coke Machine: 22769  ~ [bauwerk] – “Vintage Soda Machine”

Propellers: NOMAD – “Clean Propeller Fan // Floor & Wall”

Lamps: NOMAD – “Industrial Neon Lamp”

Crates: floorplan. – “Old Crate Stack”

Record Player: Ariskea – “[Record50] Vinyl Record “

Boxes: ..Tuesdays.. – “Keepsake Boxes – Vintage”

Location (Pic 1)

Time Portal, Time Machine Laboratory

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

 

Nude or Naked? – A Tribute to Flora Borsi

The past weeks/months I was allowed to be part of the latest VISIONAIRE batch. VISIONAIRE offers classes/workshops for inworld photography. When I first told a few friends, that I am excited about VISIONAIRE, they asked me why I would want to go there. I would already do pictures for such a long time and as well, I would work with Photoshop and could do PS tutorials instead.

I tried to tell them, that I am working on my own for such a long time and that I kinda felt stuck in my own world with my pictures. I love going to schools and workshops and learn new things or even get pointed out some things that I might have forgotten over the time. I do not know how to describe it, but it is like even if you know things, you can forget about them so easy and with classes and workshops you get a sweet reminder. Sometimes you learn something, you cannot use it right away and then you forget about it, even if it would be very useful for something else. Sometimes you try things and you do not like it at all and feel overchallenged at the moment you practice, but after some time you might be able to work it out, but you forgot about. And in the end it is always great if you get some critique on your work, that most of the time will encourage you to try better in my view.

I was very excited when we met the first time – I nearly was nervous, because the classes were going to be in voice and I am always afraid, to not able to follow properly if it comes to technical terms and stuffs. Soon I realized, I am not the only non native speaker, which made it a little easier. When I started to cam around, I again got scared seeing some big names beside me and I nearly fell for the same weird question I was asked “What they are doing here, they are so good!” :p But since I had my own reasons to do the course, I scratched that thought quickly 😉

The classes, even if they took hours, were awesome. For many weeks, Sundays were completely dedicated to that chatty, funny and passionated people and I do not regret one minute. I have to admit, I felt strange sometimes and again the old discussion “it is because you are unique – it is because you are special” came up and I wanted to quit. I hate that term!!! There is times where you just want to be one of many and not the one, that stands out because of weird thoughts and craziness. I remember one Sunday, where we were supposed to look at pictures to find the spot in the picture, where our eyes where pulled at and then explain why. You start to get frustrated, if your eyes mostly get attracted by other things than the rest of the group sees…

I really had moments, where I thought I am just too stupid, or too weird to understand/see things. So I started to remain silent – Certainly Wren and Koko caught that and asked me why and told me that this would not be the solution. Since I am not a kid, I was aware of that and I tried to explain my problem. Wren was very understanding and I have to say she was so striving to calm me down and back into the ‘chat mode’. It took me a week to get back on track, but since we had fun homeworks all week, it was easy to step back into the group – they made it super easy for me too and did not even bring it up again.

Home work always sounds bad, but in case of VISIONAIRE they were amazing as the challenged me every week and go me out of my ‘same procedure like always’ mode, which kinda crept into my photography habit. It sometimes dragged me out if my comfort zone and made me re-think a lot of things not only technique wise, but as well composition wise 🙂

It was interesting to get critique and opinions for the home work every week. Sometimes I did not even think about things, that others saw in my pictures. Again the old term “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” made its point 🙂 Even the never ending story “Why this picture of mine got so many faves while the other – which I personally like so much more – got less likes” got touched and Koko had some very interesting ideas to that subject, which again gave me a new perspective – Did you ever think about, if you do pictures with male or female gaze, or what even would be the difference on that in terms of art and photography?

Another great part was the using of glow, lights and projectors. While I hate glow, I always liked using projectors and lights but I never was able to really use them to their full beauty. I normally used 1 or 2 lights or projectors, not thinking about the fact that I could have more to highlight certain parts of the body, even certain spots of the whole scenery. In the past lights and projectors were my personal “OMG that never does what it should” overchallenging situations and I usually gave up on them. BUT if you have a homework… you damn try :p.

In one of the classes, when our home work was to create a portrait. Linda Reddevil, did one being inspired by Flora Borsi. I saw some of her pictures already, but I never was familiar with that artist. When Linda brought her up, I googled again and was so impressed that I wanted to to a picture inspired by Flora Borsi.

It was luck, that to the same time Jian has their amazing flamingos at the FLF and so I took it as a sign and started to work on my idea. While I was doing the shoot, my mind went back to a subject we had at our VISIONAIRE meetings as well. A discussion about an ongoing trend in SL or on SL Flickr pictures – nudity. It seems if you throw and press your private parts into peoples faces, you get a lot of favorites on Flickr. I never was against nudity in arts in general, as long as it was done with class and not only or all of the time. There is much more, what can appeal sexy, than just simple show-offs in a crude way. Does it really have to show ‘everything’ all of them time? Is sometimes not just a basis idea the key to let the imagination fly? I remember very well a scene of movie, where people still going on about, if you see something or not. The interrogation scene in Basic Instinct, which is probably the most famous scene of that movie. The moment where Sharon Stone switching her one leg over the other, so many people did rewind that moment, to see if she would have panties on or not and we still do not know, because we saw… nothing, while the imagination was taking off.

Maybe it is because I am a German. I know it is not everywhere like this, but in Germany, if you strip naked on a public media source (internet, magazines, Youtube, etc.), you need back some more attention to your person. In 90% of the time it is done by people, who suffer from fading popularity or fading fame. Before they become an extinct star on the sky of fame, they do that as a last try to get back into social media and in the heads of the people. For a while it works, but it basically for most is just to protract, what anyways will come and they just win a certain period of time before it happens. That is one of the reasons, why I never even thought about having my boobies all over my Flickr, as well I never had the desire to share that with everyone, even if it is just pixels. To me nude does NOT have to be naked all the time 😉

With Flora Borsi in the back of my head, I started experimenting with my naked body and the flamingos, how I could show everything and nothing the same time. Since I even wanted to try again to draw hair, I even was bold. I only had changed my lashes to something unusual, while my whole body and head was completely nude and natural. They key was a pose I got from Falbala Fairey called “Crouched 6”. It previously was a gift for a store and now it is back in her own store for sale. With that pose and pushing the flamingos in the right position I only needed a pillow to sit on and I was done.

Drawing hair still is a huge, exciting and time consuming project for me and again I was not yet even close to be satisfied with what I tried, so I again did lend me some instant painted hair to work with from Rayne Morgan aka Nina Rosario (in SL), only added a few strands of my own on those spots, that did not quite fit to my pose or avatar shape and colored it to match the flamingos.

I had a lot of fun working on the concept and the pictures and I hope I did make sense with my words as well. I am not just a prude German, I just prefer artistic and tasteful nude over just blunt views on others private parts on social media 😉

Special thanks to Linda Reddevil for making me looking deeper into Flora Borsi’s art again and VISIONAIRE for their amazing course!

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Hair:  Rayne Morgan (modified & complemented by me)

Lashes: Stardust – “Kira” (LeLutka Applier)

Pose: Fairey Poses – “Crouched 6”

Animals: JIAN – “Flamingo Collection”

Pillow: Le Poppycock – “Book Lovers – Tell Me a Story”

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin

Shades of Purple

TUNES

In the still of the night
Once again I hold you tight
Tho’ you’re gone your love lives on when light beams
And as long as my heart will beat
Sweet lover, we’ll always meet
Here in my deep purple dreams
[Ella Fitzgerald]

Outfit & Accessories

Top: [The Forge] – “Xella” (Maitreya)

Pants: Maddict – “Seren” (Maitreya)

Shoes: [Gos] – “Kendall Boots” (Maitreya)

Gloves: Salt & Pepper – “Winona Gloves” (Maitreya, part of an outfit)

Collar: CURELESS[+] – “Sentinent Collar”

Choker: Mossu – “Temptress Choker Black” (Maitreya)

Earrings: !Rebel Hope – “Tassel Earrings”

Rings: *Bonita* – “Rings Love” (Maitreya, Bento)

Nails: Meva – “Nails 3” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: no.match – “No.Tansfer” – NEW @ MoM

Makeup: Flair – “Eyeshadow – Sheer” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Tattoo: Queen of Ink – “Legend Tattoo”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Lashes: Flair – “Eylashes – Diva” (LeLutka Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses: Fairey Poses

Backdrop: FOXCITY – “K-POP Star 2 – Ringa Linga (3)” (Gacha, Rare)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Into the Groove

TUNES

Music can be such a revelation
Dancing around you feel the sweet sensation
We might be lovers if the rhythm’s right
I hope this feeling never ends tonight
[Madonna]

I am a kid of the 80s. Music, fashion and the whole lifestyle is something, I was not really able to enjoy when it happened, as I really was a kid in the 80s and sometimes I wish, I just would have been born a little bit earlier 😉

The 80s fashion did not last too long but it did and as well does influence the fashion trends a lot. The 80s was the time of big fashion icons like Lady Di, Madonna, Cher, Grace Jones and many more big names. Certainly most of the ones I called by name are musicians – I am a musician myself in RL, so that is my personal favorites not only for fashion.

The 80s brought out some really avant garde models and creations. Even today if you ask people – young and old – they remember leggings, shoulder pads, stretch dresses and skirts, leg warmers, graphic tees and certainly vibrant and neon colors. The other side of the coin for the more cool kids was the vinyl, latex, denim, fingerless gloves or oversized top looks.

 

Even if my style would have been a bit darker, more towards the rocker styles of the 80s, when I saw the “Chala Ice Cream” dress, made by Rosary, I immediately wanted to do a color pop style. I had no idea for along time how to illustrate the look I had in my mind, but when I saw the “Debbie” poses from BellePoses with those huge records – I had what it needed 😉

When I was styling and snapping the pics I heard a lot of Madonna and Cyndi Lauper to get the right mood and groove. The last one even wore this kind of colorful stuff mostly paired with waist corsets.

Certainly according to Grace Jones stylings, I had to find some really vibrant and colorful makeup. What better place I could have thought of that Zibska. Zib ha a great sense for strong and bold colors and how to bring them on your face as an incredible makeup.

I am really curious what else will be brought back from the 80s besides leggings and white jeans and some more we already had in summer. The fashion industry already released some A/W 2018 fashion trends and I saw animal prints, western styles with cowboy boots and sequins coming back – lets see what else they will bring back! I am crossing my fingers for some rock or gothic creations *searches for her ripped fingerless gloves*

Outfit & Accessories

Outfit: Rosary – “Chala Ice Cream” (Maitreya)

Shoes: UTOPIA@Design – “Alice” (Maitreya)

Earrings: Ticky Tacky – “Lick Me!” (store no longer existing)

Headpiece: :Z.S: – “Retro Headband”

Bangles: :Z.S: – “Cheer Bangles”

Nails: Pink Hustler (*PL*) – “Nail #27” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: Sintiklia – “Mbali”

Makeup: Zibska – “Yumi” (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: Zibska – “Peake” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Tattoo: Redfish – “Wonderland” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses & Records: BellePoses – “Debbie” (BEnto)

Backdrop: MINIMAL – “KPOP Garage”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

My Decision…

Not too long ago a very close friend of mine, Seaside, was IMing me, asking if I would be ok. First I was wondering why she would ask me that, but then she told me she was following my flickr and the latest, and very dark pictures did concern her. I thought that was very sweet and I tried to explain to her why I do have this super dark and destructive side as well. I was suffering of depressions a very long time of my life and I sometimes still do, but I learning to live and work with them. So if I do those very dark and morbid pictures, to me it is like checking up on an old friend, deep inside of me. This friend will never leave me, but we both learned how to co-exist. I just have to go there sometimes, to check on him and if he still is there in place, where I put him a long time ago. I do not know if that makes sense, but for me it is kinda like therapy and it does work out 90% of the time. The hard times, where I often was close to the moment of giving up, or even tried to give up are gone and that is what counts for me.

For quite some time, I did not want to see that. I thought with medicine, pills and therapy I can make it go away – I just wanted to ‘heal’. After many different attempts to do that, I met a wonderful person, that to me was more valuable than every therapist I ever met before. He was a therapist too, but I did not met him as a patient, I met him at one of my concerts and we became friends over the time. After we met several times we had a discussion about depressions and he gave me a completely new view on it. He told me, depressions would be kinda the same thing as being alcohol addicted, you can fight the symptoms, but not the facts, case or reasons. He stated, that I can decide, if I let the depressions take over my life or if I take control over the depressions. That sounds very easy , but it is not and I probably would not have been able to do that without any help. I was very lucky to have real friends and family, who helped me over the time of the learning process and it was not done in just a few weeks – it took years.

I decided to take control – even if I maybe never will have 100% of control, it made my life way easier that to just give up and live for the depressions. I wanted more from my life that what my depressions would have allowed me to do. But like I said before, sometimes that ‘old friend’ knocks at my door and I have to decide if I let him in, or if I just go out with him for a while or even go visit him at his place, where I can leave him when ever I want.

I know, depressions can be very different and there is no general solution for that, but you always have decision to fight against or to give up – I never won’t judge over someones decision, as either of both is an option to choose and while one can be good for someone, it can be bad for another person.

I hope, I could make sense with my words – English is not my first language 😉

Outfit & Accessories

Outfit: Enfant Terrible – “Kimi” (Maitreya)

Boots: Blueberry – “Celia Boots – High Heels” (Maitreya)

Rings: Elle Boutique – “Bloom” (Maitreya, Bento)

Collar: Salt & Pepper – “Slumber Party” (Gacha, Rare)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: no.match – “No.Role”

Makeup: Zibska – “Mina Liner” (LeLutka Applier, Ltd. Gift)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLeutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Tattoo: [White~Widow] – “Anon” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props

Prop: R.O.T. – “End Nature”

Poses: Foxcity – “Stairs (Sitting)” (Bento)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin