Numb

TUNES

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
‘Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I’m becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
(I’m tired of being what you want me to be)
I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
(I’m tired of being what you want me to be)
[- Limp Bizkit -]
Clothing

Blanket: :: MOMOCHUU :: – “Holiday Blanket [dark]” (Maitreya) – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // December 2020

Top: [Salem] – “Lilith Corset” (Maitreya) – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // December 2020

Panties:

Legs: [CX] – “Chiyou Legwraps Black” (Maitreya)  – NEW @ Mainstore

Accessories

Mask: kosmii – “Victory Gag” – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // December 2020

Collar: ::Static:: – “Bound Collar { Female } Black”

Feet Claws: L’Emporio&PL – “Damned Claws – Flat Feet V2” (Maitreya)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: Dura – “B98-Hair-Fat Pack A:right (diamond face line)”

Eyeliner: CAZIMI – “Basic B Eyeliners Bonus Liners” (LeLUTKA Evo. HD Applier)

Lashes: ~Shiny Stuffs~ – “Lash Parade” (LeLUTKA Applier)

Faceart & Sclera Overlay: Nefekalum Tattoos – “Hunger” – NEW @ Mainstore

Face Scars: . The Rotting Lab . – “Waster – Scar – Pale” (BoM)

Head, Body & Tattoo

Head & Piercings: LeLUTKA – “Erin 2.5”

Eyes: Madame Noir – “Vampyre Eyes” – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // December 2020

Ears: [CX] – “Sceleratis Ears”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara V5.3”

Tattoo 1: TF – “Machinist (F) :: Without Sore – Light 50%” (BoM)”

Tattoo 2: TF – “Mort :: Veins :: With Eyeshading” (BoM)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Poseidon

Face Animation Tool: LeLutka – “Axis HUD Face 1.1”

Backdrop: ANTINATURAL[+] – “Hospital for Souls / Hydrotherapy room”

Rat 1: JIAN – “Rascal Rats 2. Black Companion” (Gacha, Common)

Rat 2: JIAN – “Rascal Rats 6. Black Wanderer” (Gacha, Common)

Model, Stylist & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Virtual Insanity?

“… And now that things are changing for the worse
See, its a crazy world we’re living in
And I just can’t see that half of us immersed in sin
Is all we have to give these –

Future’s made of virtual insanity now
Always seem to, be governed by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound – for we all live underground

And I’m thinking what a mess we’re in
Hard to know where to begin…”

[- Jamiroquai -]

When you think about your life as a path, it never seems to be a straight and smooth one. You have junctions, where you have to decide which way to go. You will face bumpy and rocky sections. You might even dead-end streets, which first looked completely right and all of a sudden you realize it won’t let you go further than a certain point. You might find ways, that feel as they would go to nowhere – some really do some just take a long walk until you can see where they lead to. Some might request major changes and decisions and some just need next to nothing to decide the change.

I am at one of those junctions, maybe even one of the dead-end ones in RL and SL. While it is a little more complicated in RL, in SL I just need to get my mind straight and think about what I really want for my free time activity called Second Life. I – and I only can talk about myself and my personal feelings – do not need a Second Life that dictates my schedule, gives me pressure time wise, forces me to decide on things I do not feel I want to, or to follow something I am not 100% behind anymore. Certainly I feel responsible about schedules and appointments, I always tried to be accurate, on time and well prepared what ever it was, but sometimes the thought of “Do I really need that?” sneaked into my mind and I was more careful the next time I committed to something. But what about things that you thought they would totally suit you and you would enjoy them – what you maybe even did for a while – and then they change? Maybe the fun fades or they take direction to something completely different than what you expected or pictured? I have a hard time lettings things go I had fun with for along time, especially if friendship is involved. It is always harder – at least for me – to leave something, if you have built a friendship with some of the people. Sometimes friendships break as certain people will take your decisions personally, even if they are not meant to be like that. On the other hand if you go on with it, you might risk the friendship as well as you are constantly unhappy and even if you try to hide it, it most likely will be felt by other people, especially if it is friends. Often it is a tightrope walking and you have to think very carefully how you decide.

That sometimes can lead to a “Virtual Insanity”, which inspired me for todays post and pictures.

The damn cool straight jacket was made by CerberusXing for the Warehouse Sales event. It comes in a clean and bloody version and due the BoM Alpha layer you can wear it with different mesh bodies. The cute, pierced horns as well were made by CerberusXing for the Anthem event. My mega awesome piercing I found at Kinky made my .:E.A.Studio:. It is a huge gacha with many different parts, while the piercing is one of the rares you will find a lot of cool earrings as well. To snap my pictures with that kinda crazy, insane look, what could be better than the Rosewood Hills Asylum made by DRD. It is a huge gacha with 49 collectables items and they make in total over 150 separate decorative items!  The gacha set was parted into 2 machines, one focusing more on the medical interior and the other on the office interior. I just can say both totally worth to collect if you want an overall awesome Asylum! If you want a short and scary tour through the Rosewood Hills Asylum you can as well take a look HERE, where Eowyn and Jaimy made a short video to introduce it – watch at your own risk *grins wickedly* If you are even more brave you can take a taxi to Rosewood Hills (SURL below in credits) and look for yourself if you can survive the virtual insanity *winks*

Clothing

Top: [CX] – “Sealed Entitiy – Female (Clean) A” (Fitted Mesh) – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // November 2020

Pants: [CX] – “Wild Hazard Shorts – B)” (Maitreya, Gacha, Common)

Socks: .:Avanti:. – “Knit Socks” (Omega Applier)

Shoes: L’Emporio&PL – “*Cryptor*”

Legs 1: [CX] – “Wild Hazard Leg Harness – Black (A)” (Maitreya, Gacha, Common)

Legs 2: [CX] – “Wild Hazard Leg Harness – Black (B)” (Maitreya, Gacha, Common)

Accessories

Horns (incl. Tattoo): [CX] – “Mara Horns” – NEW @ Anthem // December 2020

Piercing: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Vertebrus Septum MOD A” (Gacha, Rare) – NEW @ Kinky //November 2020

Hair & Makeup

Hair: Action Inkubator – “Neo”

Eyeshadow: CAZIMI – “Exiled HD Makeup” (LeLUTKA Evo.HD Applier)

Face Art: [CX] – “Plague” (BoM, Group Gift)

Head, Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLUTKA – “Lake 2.5”

Ears: [CX] – “Sceleratis Ears”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara V5.3”

Tattoo: .:Vegas:. – “Tattoo Dark Relevation” (BoM)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Foxcity

Scenery: DRD – “Rosewood Asylum” (Gacha, Rares, Commons)

Location

Rosewood Hills

Model, Photographer & Stylist

Wicca Merlin

Did you really think that would stop me?

Today I only wanted to do a teaser picture for our “Scratch Me Gloves” but in the end I had way to much fun playing with the look and poses and so I ended up doing pictures for a full post. I guess I am in a dark period again for doing pictures and I really do enjoy it. Before I get asked again… Yes I am ok and am feeling good. Just sometimes I do like my dark side and when it comes I have to let it out before it gets me completely 😉 Maybe that is my very own way to deal with such situations, but for me it works.

Again I have to say, for all my dark and scary visions  LOVE the poses from Poseidon. He has his very own way to make poses. Most of the time you can see it on pictures on the first view of the poses are from Gryphon Vendetta – owner and designer of Poseidon and UNGOD. The poses show motion, character and emotions and mostly they do have a strong attitude as well and are made for a certain purpose. You won’t find usual ‘standing’ poses at his store, which I do really enjoy. Each of his sets are an inspiration for pictures to me. He started a while ago to make props for his poses as well and lately he even started to make his own mesh, which I soon will have here on my blog as well – I already god some goodies 😉

When I styled up to just make a picture for our “Scratch Me Gloves”, which are for sale at the “Eclipse – October never dies!” event, I had one of those moments where the style kinda built up itself with each piece I put on and in the end it looked so cool that I thought it would be a shame not to post it *giggles* So here goes my result of having way too much fun again :p

Clothing

Outfit: Meva – “Sophie” (Maitreya)

Gloves: Wicca’s Originals – “Scratch me Gloves – Dark” (Maitreya – Bento) – NEW @ Eclipse – October never dies! // March 2019

Stockings: .:Avanti:. – “Harlot Stockings” (OMEGA Applier)

Shoes: UTOPIA@Design – “Rachel” (Maitreya) – NEW @ UBER // March/April 2019

Accessories

Collar: [CX] – “Hell’s Harbinger” (Maitreya)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: no.match – “No.Friend” – NEW @ Cosmopolitan Event // March 2019

Face Art: THIS IS WRONG – “Moloch Makeup” (LeLutka applier) – NEW @ Eclipse – October never dies! // March 2019

Lipstick: je suis… – “LeLutka ips no. 006” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoos

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Eyes: Clemmm – “Irritated Eyes Dark Grey”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Tattoo: THIS IS WRONG – “Molochy Tattoo” (Maitreya Applier) – NEW @ Eclipse – October never dies! // March 2019

Poses & Props

Poses: Poseidon

Backdrop: anxiety – “formaldehyde”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Dreams or Reality?

I know I’ll never know a peaceful night again
Afraid they’ll hear me
They don’t fear me
Punishment for me of a moral crime
The debt was never paid completely
[Disturbed]

I am sure you know what I mean… those “memories” that never leave us even if their clarity fades and they get kinda blurry?
Those things we do not really want to remember, but we can’t completely forget?
I do have those and from time to time they do knock me out for a while. The older I become, the more those memories become emotions and I do forget the exact moment of my life. Sometimes they do feel like faded or blurred echoes. Sometimes they even feel kinda unreal to me, even if I know, that it happened. Exactly that kind of feelings I wanted to bring on my pictures and to me it worked 🙂
I was trying and thinking about that for a longer time, but I never felt like it came out right.
The poses from Le Poppycock, which I found while I was looking for another pose set, gave me the idea, how I could manage to picture my feelings. To bring emotions on pictures, is always a hard challenge for me as I feel it very difficult to bring those on a static picture. Emotions are very personal and everybody will have different impressions and/or expressions of a certain picture.
To me it was the outfit from Enfant Terible, an innocent, sweet dancer outfit with ballet shoes, the dark vibe of the dark vibe of the Asylum from Ex Machina and the morbid skeleton paired with the amazing poses from Le Poppycock, that made the perfect contrast and as well the controversial and mixed feelings I do have with such moments. I did abstain from strong make up to give the whole look a more pure and fragile look. The lightly messy hair from no.match was perfect for the style as well, it underlined the desperation in some way for me with all the wisps and strands of hair.

The “Welcome Home Asylum” from Ex Machina is an amazing background for pictures. It does have 2 different cells and a hallway in front of it. The backdrop has 4 active light sources – 2 in the cells and 2 in the hallway – which can be turned off or edited through your edit window. The whole backdrop looks best, if you turn advanced lightning on, as all textures are baked and use advanced lightning model materials. But even without that high graphic settings it looks stunning and detailed. I really adore Hatti’s texturing skills… Hatris Panacek, owner and genius designer of Ex Machina, states herself that she was inspired by the horrors of the insane asylums of the past catching those creepy atmospheres you can still find in some abandoned structures around the world. I just wanted to share those non edited peeks on the backdrop, because my pictures are dark and I did not want to miss to show all those lovely details of the backdrop – at least the 2 rooms that I used for this pictures. For the other one I will have another post soon 😉

Outfit

Outfit: Enfant Terrible – “Skye Dancer” (Gacha) – NEW @ Epiphany

Makeup & Hair

Hair: no.match – “No.Modify”
Eyeshadow: Zibska – “Noir Pack 06” (LeLutka Applier)
Lipstick: alaskametro<3 – “London” (LeLutka Applier)
Makeup:

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”
Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”
Ears: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Thauron”

Poses & Props

Poses (incl. Skeleton): Le Poppycock – “Necromantic” (Gacha)
Background: Ex Machina – “Welcome Home Asylum PhotoScene v1.1”

Model & Photographer

Whispers that I hear…

I can feel you here, watchin’ me
Whispers that I hear are haunting me
I can feel you here, watchin’ me
Whispers that I hear are haunting me
Feel it in the air…

[Lowkey]

Today I have an awesome gacha outfit from Salt & Pepper for you. The “Like a Prayer” gacha is available at the actual round of ROMP.

The gacha comes with so many different itmes and colors, I really had a hard time choosing the parts and colors for today’s look.

Usually a nun seems something well behaved and shiny, so I wanted to drag it over to something dark, since I am on a dark and scary mood at the moment*giggles*

I love how the habit moves with the poses and animations and with all the options you really can create looks from totally nice and proper to something uber sexy if you only use the harness for the body…

For the set, what else I could use as the “Abandoned Asylum” gacha from 22769. I do LOVE their creativity and love for the detail in all of their items. The gacha comes with so many different furniture and deco parts.. you can just decorate away with all of them and since they are usually modifiable, you can even reuse them in different sizes! The amazing spooky mannequins as well are a gacha but from Remarkable Oblivion. That was the most funniest gacha play I ever had. When I saw those mannequins on the Ironwood Hills sim, I instantly knew – I want them! So I went to the event where they were and was doing a happy dance when I saw they are all common items. Usually I am not a lucky person with gachas, that is one of the reasons I stopped playing most of the time. So I started to gamble aways after setting myself a limit and the first 3 pulls already all were 3 rares and I was like “What the hell??? Once I seriously want the commons – really???” No that I did not like the rares, they are amazing, but… seriously?!? – Just on a side note, I never ever was that lucky at any other gacha*laughs*

Thank god I found the missing mannequins for a reasonable price on marketplace, to complete my Spook Show :p

I do not wanna forget to mention, that all the amazing poses I used are from Poseidon.

I still have so many poses and props he made, that I would love to showcase, but that crazy genius guy seems to be on a release flood! Just kidding but it is really hard to follow up with the speed of his releases.. I sometimes really wonder if he ever sleeps*grins* But for this post they were just perfect again. Using his poses seems to me like getting a picture alive. They are so very well thought trough from the fingernails down to the toenails every limb does exactly what it has to, to create the perfect illusion of a movement in just one pose!

It was really great fun to do those pictures and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do 🙂

Details

Outfit (Incl necklace): Salt & Pepper (S&P) – “Like a Prayer” (Maitreya, Gacha) @ ROMP

Boots: BAX – “Regency Boots” (Maitreya)

Bra & Stockings: Blacklace – “Vivian” (Omega Applier)

Gloves: L’Emporio – “Lace Gloves” (Maitreya Applier)

Claws: MEVA – “Bento Claw” (Maitreya)

Makeup: Slackgirl – “RoseGem Shadow” (Omega Applier)

Lipstick: je suis… – “LeLutka Lips no. 005[greys]” (LeLutka Applier)

Poses: Poseidon

Set: 22769 – “Abandoned Asylum” (Gacha) & RO – “Spook Show” (Gacha)

Basics:
Head: LeLutka – “Simone 2.7”
Body: Maitreya – “Lara V4.1”
Eyes: IKON – “Hope Eyes”
Shape: Selfmade

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin

Silent Hill… inspired by a movie!

Asteria 3

Yes, I have an addiction to mystic, dark things, especially for abandoned asylums at night. The imagination has no boundaries with those 😉

This time I got the idea, when I saw the “Spook Show Mannequins” from Remarkable Oblivion. It was a gacha at an event, and when I saw them… I did instantly know.. I need those :p

I am not a huge gacha player but those I really wanted and since they were commons, I thought I could give it a try. Guess what… certainly if I do not play for the rares once.. I get some*facepalms*

But since they were nice as well it did not bother me too much *grins*. I am sure I can use them for another post as well.

Asteria 1

As soon as I was at home, I unpacked them and put them down in a random way and just looked at them. After some time, they spoke to me and I got a basic idea about what I would love to do.

Most of you know I love antithetical scenarios and pictures. And when I looked at those Mannequins, I got the idea to combine them with some sexy and colorful lingerie 😉

I decided to go with one of the newer releases from Asteria, the “Nika” lingerie. With the choice of different colors the deep red combined with some black accepts like the straps on the legs it was kinda a mix of different color sets 😉

More and more the basic idea did grow in my head… Maybe you saw the Silent Hill movie… the idea I had when I unpacked them kinda was inspired by a scene of that movie. The one with the blind creepy nurses, which are attracted by the light and react on noises – they have no eyes, no face and kinda being anonymous. When I built my set with the new Mannequins I had this in mind the whole time :p .

Asteria 2

The necklace I pulled out from another outfit of Asteria called “Capretto”. With the sharp edges and the funky shape it just was a perfect addition for jewelry in a dark and grungy way 😉

The shoes I got from Empire. I wanted something boots like but not as solid as boots and the “Bottlebrush” heels from Empire were just what I was looking for. With a pump style for the foot part and amazing lines up till over the knee. Boots but no boots! *snickers*

The cool horns I found on Marketplace. Made by CerberusXing ([CX]) – originally for a gacha – those horns are awesome detailed and somewhat special and unique in the way they come down in the front.

Now to come back to my originally idea of the blind nurses, I needed something for my head/face to get the idea of a blind kinda anonymous look. First I remembered a hood from !!XX!!. It is quite old, and I only used the lower part, but for the idea it worked perfectly 😉 For the upper part I just put a simple blindfold.

Asteria 6

Now just a coll set was missing. I stared at the Mannequins, which I just rezzed into my white studio. I remembered the movie scene and the abandoned asylum surgery room. To make sure, I just poked you tube about the nurse scenes of both movies :p

While I watched them, I thought of a gacha set from 22769, that just should be perfect. Now the difficult part… Since I did not recall the name of that set and an inventory of nearly 200K of items… go figure…

I tried several keywords and when I typed ‘Asylum’ something from 22769 showed up – BINGO!

The whole gacha set is called “Abandoned Asylum” [*facepalms*… I should have known that much…). It contains many different items, furniture and deco parts and even a full Asylum house is part of it as the mystical prize! I rezzed out a few things and played with them until everything fell together for the whole set 🙂

I had a lot of fun doing those pictures and the whole process of finding all parts I needed for my idea, just reminded me about  why I love blogging and making pictures so much… the fun and joy of being creative and use all kind of things even if they do not belong together on the first view 😉

Asteria 8

Details

Lingerie: Asteria – “Nika”

Shoes: Empire – “Bottlebrush”

Necklace: Asteria – “Capretto”

Blindfold: Yasum – “Blindfold”

Headpiece 1: [CX] – “Decaying Horn Dark”

Headpiece 2: !!XX!! – “Hunters Headdress” (store not existing anymore)

Tattoo: [White~Widow] – “Nerve”

Hair:: EMO-tions – “Artemisa”

Wings: 22769 – “Pygar Wings”

Mannequins: RO – “Spook Show” (Gacha, commons)

Furniture: 22769 – “Abandoned Asylum”

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin

Asteria 5

Abandoned Asylum @ Night

Asylum 4

Sometimes you get confused, you doubt your own guts and feelings just because you think you know better…

Exactly that feeling I had, when I was trying out different things to get my mind off some things that really afflicted me the last few days.

I was trying out some new releases of [sys], GizzA and Gabriel. On the first view, it looked very strange to put those things together that looked all so different.

The more I played with it, the more it became a certain look I really liked 😉

Asylum 1

I started with the “Tristeline Helmet” from [sys]. The helmet is an abstract looking, super cool head with horns and petal looking parts, that comes with a HUD, which lets you change the metal to 4 different types. The helmet was released for the We <3 RP event. The awesome “Glam Jacket” as well was made by [sys]. The open jacket is decorated with filigree chains over the chest and comes in fitted mesh for all the popular mesh bodies as well as in the standard sizes. The skirt is one of the latest releases from GizzA. The “Chloe Asymmetric Skirt” is a great short skirt with amazing details. you can see the seams, and the loose belt decorates the waist knotted into a ribbon shape.

Asylum 2

For the shoes I did not want high heels or something too elegant. It should be something casual with a rough touch. The perfect match made the new “Nicole Boots”. They can be word with or without socks, both versions are available. With the flat sole and the amazing trendy shape they just were right for today’s look.

The awesome earrings are one of the newest releases from Elysium. The “Oriental Delight Earrings” made the perfect contrast for the look. With the graceful silver metals and  the beautiful back gem, they compliment perfectly the filigree chains of the jacket and as well give an elegant, gothic looking touch.

To give back some more weird and as well Asylum insane looking element I put on the “Tattoo Gift Bruises” by Coca & Wolf and the ripped stockings from insanya.

Asylum 5

All the scary, cool and realistic furniture for the scenery, were made by 22769. It is part of a full set called the Abandoned Asylum. The set contains 15 items. For this post i just used the “Asylum Bed”, the “Drawercase”, the”Fire Extinguisher”, the “Portable Oxygen Tank”, the “Screen” and the “Crutches”

Sometimes out of weird moods, cool looks and an idea is born. So not always a bad or weird mood only is a bad thing if you look back on it with some distance 😉

Asylum 3

Details

Jacket: [sys] – “Glam Jacket” – NEW

Skirt: GizzA – “Chloe Asymmetric Skirt” – NEW

Stockings: :::insanya::: – “Stockings and Knee Socks n.4”

Boots: ::GB:: – “Nicole Boots+Socks” – NEW

Headpiece: [sys] – “Tristeline Helmet” – NEW @ We <3 RP

Earrings: Elysium – “Oriental Delight Earrings”

Furniture: 22769 – “Abandoned Asylum”

Poses: Del May

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin

Asylum 6