Bound by Prejudices

β€œWhen dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”

[Dale Carnegie]

β€œNever judge others. You both know good and well how unexpected events can change who a person is. Always keep that in mind. You never know what someone else is experiencing within their own life.”

[Colleen Hoover]

How often you wondered why a certain person is not talking to you, even if you never ever had any conversation with that exact person before?

This post will be very personal out of my own experiences and opinions in my very own past and I will try my best, hoping I will make sense and will be understood right. I am not a native English Speaker so I hope that you will be lenient with me πŸ˜‰

I am sure you know that situation, if you poke someone, to get some information and then you are being ignored for a long time without any answer. The after some time you dare to ask again, because the information would be really important for you and you could not find any other source of information and again you are ignored completely. you start to be scared and question yourself what you could have done to that person before, but you cannot even remember that you ever spoke to that person before. so you think your pokes might have got lost and you take all your strength and ask a 3rd time because you think your first two attempts failed, since you heard nothing back and all of a sudden you get yelled at O.O Not with the information you asked for – more like how you can dare to ask 3 times after you got ignored already before…

That did not happen too often thank god, but those kind of situations happen here and there again and again. Usually not that harsh but in the end it hurts the same if you just wanted some information and just get silence.

I mean if you could figure it out by yourself… fine then I would not even say a word but sometimes you have to ask for information of you cannot continue working on something.

The other side of the coin… How often you caught yourself avoiding several people just because you “heard” something about them?

I was thinking about that a lot lately. sometimes I just tried to avoid people because good friends of mine had real bad experiences with them and I felt I would betray them by talking to those people or even work with them. One part of my heart – out of loyalty – still believes in that, but seeing it from a business perspective the other part of my heart calls against it.

Maybe it is part of being a human that you try to protect your true friends by not making relation ships with people who hurt them but on a business perspective should you not be open minded and not biased by some things?

What about the phrase that everyone deserves a second chance? Is it not possible to be with people not mentioning or talking about a certain person?

It is a tricky subject I guess and maybe the intensity of what has happened and as well the particular story and facts might have a great influence on that.

It would make a difference if someone was ‘just’ rejected for something or somebody, or if he or she really was personally hurt. That maybe leads to the next problem, that some people take things personal quite fast… and who would be the judge to decide if it was real bad or just a misunderstanding? I guess I did wrong decisions in that case as well but I always try to be as neutral as I can especially if it comes to business stuff. Saying that, if I maneuver myself in such situations without aiming for that (and I am good in that for what ever reason) I try to be transparent and honest with that, so every party knows very well about my role and intention.

All my life I tried to not hurt people in any ways and still it happens sometimes without me knowing it. If that happens I never did want it like that, but it happened. So I have to – if I get the chance to do so – explain why it happened and maybe apologize if that is still possible, as I probably cannot make it undone (I would if I could, ,that’s a given). I had to learn the hard way that if you have an own opinion you might hurt people with it even if you do not want to. Just because sometimes things hurt people, even if you not ever thought about.

My grandfather used to say “You are the only one that decides what can/will hurt you and what won’t”

It took a long time, until I fully understood what that means and even now, I know it does not always work. But I as well learned being open minded for new acquaintances and situations even if people tried to warn me.

Even if I sometimes wish – after having my own experiences – I would have listened, I as well got to know people different, than what I was told. I was allowed to see different and amazing sides of people who I was told to never talk to. Sometimes you need to take a risk, maybe to get your own experiences and your own point of view about people. I just can say for my own personal opinion, I probably would take the risk of being hurt again, over the fact of just being biased or ignoring/blocking people just because I was told to. Even if it is the minority in such cases, I was allowed to meet wonderful people by just ignoring warnings and having my own experiences and I would not want to miss them in my life πŸ˜‰ . Humans are different. Some do go along and some do not but without having my own experience I at least try (it does not work always 100%) to be open for my own experiences even if I might get hurt again, just because the only thing I dare to judge is myself (if that makes any sense… I hope it does).

Sometimes it is worth it to just slough off the ropes and bands that tie you down, to get up after you maybe got hurt and get rid of the bad feelings, that your experiences might have caused. The possibility that you can have a different experience with a different person is there, it just has to be made.

I try to tell that to myself everyday and most of the time it works. How we all could have learned to walk when we were young, if we would not have stood up all the time after we fell and had bruises and open knees? I am ready to get up again and to take off the blindfold and the bonds of my old experiences to make new ones, better ones and some that I never will forget. I won’t be infallible – I am human being – but I will try – every day again πŸ™‚

Details

Outfit & Accessories:

Top: Wicca’s Wardrobe – “Vixen Bra 1 & 2” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Harness: [Cynful] – “Shamless Top & Bottom” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Pantie: Enfant Terrible – “Locked Heart Chastity Belt” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Gloves: .:Avanti:. – “Domina Gloves” (Maitreya Applier)

Knee Bracers: .:Avanti:. – “Jersey Knee Warmers” (Maitreya Applier)

Shoes: [MODA] – “Dakota Heels” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Gag: ::Axix:: – “Beloved Nocturnia Gag” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Hair & Makeup:

Hair & Blindfold: +Spellbound+ – “Babygirl” – NEW @ Bound Box

Body & Tattoos:

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Poses & Props:

Sari-Sari – “Puppet Skybox”

Model & Phototgrapher:

Wicca Merlin

 

Dark Visions

Dark Visions

There’s something hidden
In the depthsof the night
From a placenot forbidden
But deprived of light
A landscape of mistery
Is the other side
Derying the limits
Of the mind

Dark Visions
Fragment of a story that’s not a lie
Dark vision
Image of an existence destinedto die
Dark visions

A raid into the unknown
Enigmatic strangeland
Where the incognito’s grown
Harder to understand
The faceof silence
The likehood of fear
A reflex that will slowly
Disappear

Nightmares and dreams
Fictions or realities
Dark Visions

[Alien Produkt]

Details

Clothing & Accessories:

Outfit: Zibska – “Lilitu” (Maitreya) – NEW @ The Secret Affair

Shoes: Reign – “Kendall” (Maitreya)

Nails: glYph – “Apex” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup:

Hair: Analog Dog – “Pipe Dream”

Makeup: Slackgirl – “SecretFreak” (Omega Applier) – NEW @ The Secret Affair

Body & Tattoo:

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Poses & Props:

Poses: Poseidon

Props: E.V.E Studio – “KOI Square Confetti Ring” & “Sugarflies {Red}”

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin

The Darkness Inside

I did think a long time about a title for this post and pictures and after a conversation with a dear, sweet friend today, I suddenly had the idea – “The dark beast inside of me sometimes needs some release”

We all know that feeling I guess. You often just try to be polite and kind even if you feel that the inner beast tries to break free. In my life I learned that his beast has two different sides. It is very emotional and hot-headed on one side and sometimes it can be very dark ironic and sarcastic on the other. That is why I learned to control it and keep it locked in chains inside of me.

Certainly I was told to not always swallow all my emotions and everything that I get told, but the same time there is way how you can express this in a polite and adult way.

The most difficult it gets when you feel hurt. Because then this beast inside just rambles and rattles with the chains, developing immense power so that I sometimes really be afraid it would break that chains and just break free.

But exactly those situations taught me the most. When I was able to still keep it inside, it felt as a success to not let it win over me just because of someones judgement, rumors, gossips or words.

Every time I was able to keep it locked away, I felt that I did grow stronger. It was a long process and it took me years and sadly it is still not perfectly locked. But maybe it does not have to be, because everything has an end as well and so does patience, understanding and politeness. Sometimes people really need to know when they overstepped a line or did hurt me even if they will not believe nor change their behaviour – most of the time because they can’t as they have nothing in their life than trying to make others miserable. Then you do not even need to argue with those, because you can’t win. Anyways what you will say to prove them wrong they will turn it around and again use it against you no matter what. So all you can do is let it go, turn around and move on.

If you move on, you will meet new people in the future who will treat you with more respect and in an adult way. Certainly not only those, but all the others will wait for you left and right as well and maybe it is the personal challenge of everyone’s life to pass those who do not matter to meet those who DO matter – if that makes any sense. That does not mean you should not take any critiques, but you can learn to decide between the good and the bad critique. The bad, that only was used to hurt, blame or accuse you without any content OR the one that sometimes hurts too a bit – because you might have seen it different – but that as well contains facts and things that let you learn and grow from.

In the end you are the one, that has to make the decisions in your life – nobody can do or should do that for – as long as you can.

For me it feels better to have a mainly positive life (all of us have bad days or experiences) instead of a hate filled, jealous and not satisfied one. I always ask myself – before I react on things – if it would be worth fighting or arguing about something, or just smile and say thank you, turn around and move on. Both cases did happen and both will happen in the future, but if I argue or discuss I try to stay with the facts, be polite and kind and as well stay adult and not just release the inner beast without thinking. If that happens, I exactly would do that, what I do not want be done to myself – hurt, accuse or become personal and unobjective – and that is not an option to me if I can control it. I have to admit, over the years I became way more calm in such situations and maybe it is the age that lets you think before you take any action πŸ˜‰

Details

Clothing & Accessoires:

Outfit: Salt & Pepper – “Strapped” (Gacha, Maitreya)

Arms Straps: L’Emporio – “Harness Arms” (Maitreya)

Shoes: Bax – “Regency Boots”

Chains: E.V.E Studio – “{Apocalyptica} Cyber Snake Chains”

Makeup & Hair:

Hair: A&Y Bunker – “Cyro Hair”

Hairbase: Mina – “Myla Hairbase” (LeLutka Applier)

Makeup: Zibska – “Ballard Makeup” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo:

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Ears: Swallow – “Pixie Ears”

Arms: Zibska – “Speckles” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props:

Pose: Poseidon

True Friendship

“And now to something completely different!”

In RL my English teacher – back when I was at school – used to say that if he was changing his topic, and after a roll of post apocalyptic posts (one is still missing), I wanted to do something different and finally my mind was able to do something else *giggles*

I am always fascinated from white pictures and rarely – if I try one – , they come out as I want them too.

But this time it did! I wanted to do a combination of power and fragile moments in a very soft environment.

All I added for the set were the “Waving Bioluminescent Fungus” in white and the “Rapunzel in Evie White Tower” in front of a white background. The “Rapunzel in Evie White Tower” reminded me of the thought of your inner voice, that talks to you if you have decisions to make or that you ask when you are down and do not know who to ask. It looked great in the background for the idea of the picture.

Do you know that moment, where people want you to be strong and you feel right the opposite but cannot show that, because you have a task to end or you have to be there for someone?

It is like an inner fight with yourself, trying to not let the fragile side win. Sometimes you need to be strong, no matter what. Even if I have been told several times to not hide my feelings – if you have a true friendship, sometimes your own feelings have to be pushed behind to be there for your friend. Thank god it does not happen too often that those 2 ‘souls’ come up to the same time. Would you not expect the same from a true friend – to be there for you when you need him or her most? and even if I am always afraid to bother someone with my problems and moods. But IF I do, I really to expect close and true friends to be there for me. And saying that I would even get up in the middle of the night and drive 500 and more kilometers to help , when it would be needed and possible.

True friendship is rare and even more rare in an online environment, but it is there. Many times you might be disappointed from people who you thought you know but if you stop trusting… you never will find those who are true and honest. You would cut yourself off to meet people who could be potential true and honest friends. I do not know if that makes sense – bear with the German – but I hope you know what I am trying to say.

In the past 10 years in SecondLife, I met many people. Some I still talk to, some quit playing and some just vanished. It was a rollercoaster journey in terms of meeting people. A few I let come close to me and they ripped out my heart and left me in pain for weeks. sometimes I even thought I will quit playing Second Life. But then there are some that I met, which caught me, gave me the feeling of being close to them and those I would not want to miss again. It might only be a handful people who really do know me – know more behind Wicca’s pixel – but those I highly value and I could not think about a life without them anymore. Even if we never met, we shared tons of hours on skype or inworld, even further on mobile communication tools and they became part of not only my Second Life but my real one as well.

Friendships are different – Some are super close and with some you share moments and experiences but you do not talk to them on an everyday base. That does not have to be bad though, they are still friends I do care for and in the moment we meet we have the biggest fun ever πŸ™‚

I never would wanna change the past, as it did make me to what I am now – SL and RL. Even the pain made me learn something –Β  I never stopped to trust people or give people a chance to know me and become new, true friends.

Sometimes it is hard, but if you go out to find new true and real friends maybe do not give them the burden or the doubt out of your past experiences. They are not responsible for that, nor they know.

I hope I did make sense with what I was trying to say – if not… maybe holler at me inworld and you can help me doing it better πŸ˜‰

Details

Clothing & Accessories:

Outfit: Plastix – “Solaris” (Maitreya)

Shoes: Essenz – “Calgary” (Maitreya)

Shoulder Piece, Necklace & Brows: Zibska – “Verad” (Gacha)

Makeup & Hair:

Makeup: Zibska – “Verad Eye Makeup” (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: Zibska – “Adia” (LeLutka Applier)

Hair: enVogue – “Carley”

Head, Body & Tattoos:

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Poses & Props:

Poses: Poseidon

Props: E.V.E Studio – “Waving Bioluminescent Fungus” & “Rapunzel in Evie White Tower”

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin

 

If it makes you happy…

If it makes you happy

TUNES

I’ve been long, a long way from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos,
And drank til I was thirsty again
We went searching through thrift store jungles
Found Geronimo’s rifle, Marilyn’s shampoo
And Benny Goodman’s corset and pen

Well, o.k. I made this up
I promised you I’d never give up

You get down, real low down
You listen to Coltrane, derail your own train
Well who hasn’t been there before?
I come round, around the hard way
Bring you comics in bed, scrape the mold off the bread
And serve you french toast again

Well, o.k. I still get stoned
I’m not the kind of girl you’d take home

If it makes you happy
It can’t be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

[Sheryl Crow]

Details

Outfit: Indented – “Bea” (Maitreya)

Hair: EMO-tions – “Denise (V2)”

Collar: Voluptas Virtualis – “Rye Collar” (Maitreya)

Glasses: ANE – “Tehe”

Rings: MEVA – “Bento Maitreya Rings” (Maitreya)

Lipstick: je suis… – “LeLutka Lips no. 006 [greys]” (LeLutka applier)

Basics

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 2.7”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara V4.1”

Shape: Selfmade

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin