Numb

TUNES

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
‘Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I’m becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
(I’m tired of being what you want me to be)
I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
(I’m tired of being what you want me to be)
[- Limp Bizkit -]
Clothing

Blanket: :: MOMOCHUU :: – “Holiday Blanket [dark]” (Maitreya) – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // December 2020

Top: [Salem] – “Lilith Corset” (Maitreya) – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // December 2020

Panties:

Legs: [CX] – “Chiyou Legwraps Black” (Maitreya)  – NEW @ Mainstore

Accessories

Mask: kosmii – “Victory Gag” – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // December 2020

Collar: ::Static:: – “Bound Collar { Female } Black”

Feet Claws: L’Emporio&PL – “Damned Claws – Flat Feet V2” (Maitreya)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: Dura – “B98-Hair-Fat Pack A:right (diamond face line)”

Eyeliner: CAZIMI – “Basic B Eyeliners Bonus Liners” (LeLUTKA Evo. HD Applier)

Lashes: ~Shiny Stuffs~ – “Lash Parade” (LeLUTKA Applier)

Faceart & Sclera Overlay: Nefekalum Tattoos – “Hunger” – NEW @ Mainstore

Face Scars: . The Rotting Lab . – “Waster – Scar – Pale” (BoM)

Head, Body & Tattoo

Head & Piercings: LeLUTKA – “Erin 2.5”

Eyes: Madame Noir – “Vampyre Eyes” – NEW @ The Warehouse Sale // December 2020

Ears: [CX] – “Sceleratis Ears”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara V5.3”

Tattoo 1: TF – “Machinist (F) :: Without Sore – Light 50%” (BoM)”

Tattoo 2: TF – “Mort :: Veins :: With Eyeshading” (BoM)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Poseidon

Face Animation Tool: LeLutka – “Axis HUD Face 1.1”

Backdrop: ANTINATURAL[+] – “Hospital for Souls / Hydrotherapy room”

Rat 1: JIAN – “Rascal Rats 2. Black Companion” (Gacha, Common)

Rat 2: JIAN – “Rascal Rats 6. Black Wanderer” (Gacha, Common)

Model, Stylist & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Blessed Be

A new year has begun… 2021! Let’s see what it has for all of us 😉

We are still in the dark season and I am enjoying doing the darker stuff anyway – but you know that already.

Today I am posting something which I planned to put into a magazine but apparently it wasn’t released in December as planned. I thought before it vanishes into the Nirvana, I will add some more pictures and make a blog post out of it 😉

So here we go!

Most of the designs I found at the Saturnalia event (I really hope they will do more events as their team really does amazig work and something different) –  such a super amazing event, directed to the more traditional and naturally side of the Christmas time. To me it was such a relief to see that Christmas isn’t just all shiny gold & red, not just the Santa Claus, Cola Truck, modern, profit-oriented, video game console Christmas. There is people like me who can see the more traditional, mystical and nature-loving Christmas – or even remember what Yule means 😉 For those who do not know, just lemme show, what Wikipedia has to say about it, as it might sound better than me trying to describe it with my limited English words *snickers*

“Yule or Yuletide (“Yule time” or “Yule season”) is a festival historically observed by the Germanic peoples. Scholars have connected the original celebrations of Yule to the Wild Hunt, the god Odin, and the pagan Anglo-Saxon Mōdraniht.

Later departing from its pagan roots, Yule underwent Christianised reformulation, resulting in the term Christmastide. Some present-day Christmas customs and traditions such as the Yule log, Yule goat, Yule boar, Yule singing, and others may have connections to older pagan Yule traditions. Terms with an etymological equivalent to Yule are still used in Nordic countries and Estonia to describe Christmas and other festivals occurring during the winter holiday season. Today, Yule is celebrated in Heathenry and other forms of Neopaganism, as well as in LaVeyan Satanism.”

[- Wikipedia -]

I am still at home while the state is fighting and debating weather to open up stores and schools again or just one of both or none… to me it slowly becomes a joke and the measures get more and more opaque and difficult to comprehend. People get more and more disaffected. And even if I hate to admit that, I start understanding them. They are not against any rules – I am not speaking of all those who deny the existence of Covid or those who spread weird conspiracy theories – the normal mainstream crowd, who just don’t understand all this back and forth politics. How you can say schools can be open with 20-30 people,  inadequate hygiene standards, while bars and restaurants who invested hundreds or thousands of Euros to exactly follow their given rules and as soon as they had everything installed and working, they get closed again while schools and kindergartens are still remain open… anyway, I am not the one to make changes or decisions, but I slowly can understand those how get annoyed and frustrated.

I just will stick at home as much as possible to not risk an infection because of my mother and partner as they are both counted as group at risk members. I will teach and give music lessons online and trying to keep creative in SL and make the best out of it 😉

Happy new year and blessed be!

Clothing

Dress: ERSCH – “Saty” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Headpiece: [CX] – “Kronos’ Crown (Gold)”

Horns: ::Static:: – “Solstice Spiral Horns”

Nails & Rings: [CX] x BUENO – “Welded Eye (Gold) (Maitreya, Bento) – NEW @ Kustom9 // December 2020

Wings: Jinx – “Simple Bento Wings

Staff: Lux Aterna – “[Der Heilige Nikolaus] Staff”

Hair & Makeup

Hair: MINA Hair – “Emilia”

Eyeshadow: APOTHIC – “Venus . Eyeshadows” (LeLUTKA Evo. HD Applier)

Lipstick: APOTHIC – “Venus . Lips” (LeLUTKA Evo. HD Applier)

Fceshading 1: Skoll – “Tva Eyes2 Terra” (BoM)

Fadeshading 2: LuluB! – “Saturna – Conturing – Black” (BoM)

Face Marks: Skoll – “Tva marks TINT ME” (BoM)

Head, Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLUTKA – “Erin 2.5” (Boundless)

Eyes: Madame Noir – “Sarah Eyes”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara V5.3”

Tattoo: .:Vegas:. – “Tattoo ( Dark ) Memento Mori” (BoM) – NEW @ Men only Monthly // December 2020

Legs/Legtattoo: Astralia – “North Pole Faun Legs (dark/gold)” (Maitreya, Maitreya Applier, Gacha, Common)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Foxcity

Pose Tool: Anypose – “BVN HUD v1.82”

Face Animation Tool: LeLutka – “Axis HUD Face 1.1”

LB – “GiantCedar{Animated}*Seasons 7Li”

[we’re CLOSED] – “shrub large bare”

DRD – “The Cemetery – Ground Roots”

DRD – “Forest Ritual Site – Tree Trunk”

DRD – “Forest Ritual Site – SpellBook”

DRD – Forest Ritual Site – Treestump

DRD – The Cemetery – Angel Statue – Those We Love

JIAN – “Fallow Fawn”

JIAN – “Gray Fox”

Model, Stylist & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

“Miss Nothing”

TUNES

“Miss Nothing”

I’m Miss Autonomy, Miss Nowhere
I’m at the bottom of me
Miss Androgyny, Miss Don’t-Care-What-I’ve-Done-To-Me
I am misused, I don’t wanna do
Be not your slave
Misguided, high-minded
I’m missin’ the train
And I don’t know where I’ve been
And I don’t know what I’m into
And I don’t know what I’ve done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down
So I’ll waste my time and I’ll burn my mind
I’m Miss Nothing, I’m Miss Everything


I’m Miss Fortune, Miss So-Soon
Like a bottle of pain
Miss Matter, you had her
Now she’s goin’ away
I’m misused, miss-cunt-strued
I don’t need to be saved
Miss-slighted, high-minded
I’m stuck in the rain
And I don’t know where I am
And I don’t know what I’m into
And I don’t know what I’ve done to me

And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I couldn’t let you down
So I’ll waste my time and I’ll burn my mind
I’m Miss Nothing, I’m Miss Everything
I’m Miss Everything
And as I watch you disappear into my head
Well, there’s a man who’s tellin’ me I might be dead
So I’ll waste my time and I’ll burn my mind
So I’ll waste my time and I’ll burn my mind
I’m Miss Nothing, I’m Miss Everything

[- Pretty Reckless -]
Clothing

Top: STOP – “Horror Costume” (Mairteya)

Arm Bandage (Right): .:E.A.Studio:. – “KnothArm CottonMilitary Maitreya ( R )” (Gacha, Common) – NEW @ Kinky // December 2020

Pants & Garter: Eliavah – “Vixen” (Maitreya)

Tights: .:Avanti:. – “Cozy Tights Applier HUD – Black (Toeless)” (Maitreya Applier)

Shoes: L’Emporio&PL – “Ravage”

Accessories

Glasses: ::OOPS:: – “Adriel Glasses”

Cigarette: NikotiN – “Cigarette-Dirty V.2”

Hand (Left): Wicca’s Originals – “Corsair Hand Maitreya L” (Maitreya)

Nails & Rings (Right): [CX] x BUENO – “Welded Eye – Silver ( Maitreya ) R”

Necklace: L’Emporio&PL – “Venom” (Gift)

Hair & Makeup

Cap: OPALE – “Bart Hat V.1”

Eyeliner: CAZIMI – “Desert Rose Eyeliner – 1 Dusty Brown” (BoM)

Eyeshadow: Immortuos – “Arena Shadows – HUD” (LeLUTKA HD Applier)

Lashes: Immortuos – “Arena Lashes” (LeLUTKA HD Applier)

Face Scar: The Rotting Lab – “Waster – Scar – Pale” (BoM)

Head, Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLUTKA – “Erin 2.5” (Boundless)

Ears: L’Emporio&PL – “Athan”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara V5.3”

Tattoo: .:Vegas:. – “Tattoo Dark Grim Weather”

Knees: Clemmm – “Messy Knees” (BoM)

Poses, Props & Tools

Backdrop: .PALETO. – “Backdrop:. Ed. Mohawk “

Deco 1: CHI – “Smoker Set”

Deco 2: Prestige Furniture – “Pillow black white 001”

Deco 3: DRD – “Powergaming Shed – Trashcan”

Animal: JIAN – “Boston Terrier :: Wanderer”

Model, Stylist & Photographer

Wicca Merlin