Who are you behind the screen?

Are you a guy or a girl behind the screen?

That is a question, I heard so many times in my SL life. In the beginning – over 10 years ago – I had a different RL partner, who played a girl in SL and so he did not want me to voice or skype. He was afraid, that he would be ‘discovered’ as a guy, if ambiance noise or background phone calls were going on and that others would not RP or talk to him anymore if they would know. I respected his wish during our relationship and only typed. I never even thought about that being an issue for anyone, since I never requested myself being a female*lmao*, but when it happened the first time, I remember I really felt hurt somehow. I can not even say why, but it hit me right out of nothing when I got told “If you are not voicing you are a guy that tries to hide”

That was years ago and after I broke up with my partner, I did voice and prove more than once with it, that I am a real female.

But for about 2 years, it really kept getting more and more annoying and the more I was told if I don’t voice I must be a guy that I became stubborn as well and in the beginning I did not even wanna voice just because of all that. I did not want to let them dictate me and what I need to do. When I finally started to voice with some people that I always felt close and who never accused me to be a guy in RL It really was fun.

When I started modeling, I again stumbled over that fact. In some competitions they asked for voice checks, some designers where requesting voice verifications and at some modeling schools you had to prove, that you are a girl when you play a girl avatar. That really made me think… Why it would be so important, to know if a girl avatar really is a girl in RL? I mean we are not talking about relationships or cheating on other people who fell in love on wrong informations. There were some girls who told me in privacy that they would be guys and they would be afraid to say it, because they thought then they would not be allowed to model anymore as girls. And the ‘Why’ in my heads became bigger and bigger. What would make the difference on a SL model, designer or any other kind of roleplay if you don’t take it to RL, if that person is male or female or gay, lesbian or hetero? Does it matter for styling abilities? Does it matter for walking the runway?

Isn’t Second Life a place where you can be what you want? Isn’t Second Life a place where you can live your dreams? Isn’t Second Life a place where you can release a side of you that you can’t show in RL? Maybe there is a reason why a person does not voice even if they are the gender in RL, which they are playing in SL? Maybe someone cannot voice because they are not able to talk in RL, because they are deaf or mute?

The more I got into that, the more I hear things and read bad posts about people that were ‘discovered’ by others. Those people who did that always felt right about, that they revealed something ‘important’ and had to tell the whole world?!?! Who gave them the right to do that? Who gave them the right to hurt others with their stories? Who are they, that they think they need to be the Second Life police for that?

Again I am not talking about SL relationships that were meant to go RL and one got badly tricked, but I always said I do not care about what gender people are behind the screen as long as no one gets hurt. I know a few super, mega top models in SL that do a great job and be admired by many people and they are not the gender, which they are playing in SL. Who cares? They do an amazing job, otherwise they would not have made it so far. It is just sad, that they had to ask friends to do their ‘voice verifications’ for them, to be allowed to do what they like and enjoy.

I hope one day – in a world where transgenders in real life more and more get accepted and as well get popular and famous – people in Second Life can be as tolerant as they became RL.

I wish – in a world where creativity is a gift and all are aiming to be more creative – that all who only stand up to think about how they can hurt, slander and defame other people get a life and find joy and satisfaction in being productive instead of being constructive.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
[Bernard M. Baruch]

Outfit & Accessories

Lingerie: Enfant Terrible – “Bombshell” (Maitreya)

Stockings: BigBeautifulDoll – “Stockings Lady Nude Sheer” (Maitreya Applier)

Shoes: Bliensen + MaiTai – “It’s aways Teatime” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Enchantment

Wings: Enfant Terrible – “Unisex Wings Heartshape”

Gloves: CODEX – “Aranel” (Bento, Maitreya)

Blindfold & Collar: Bliensen + MaiTai – “La Perla” – NEW @ ROMP

Ring & Armlets: .alme. – “Maple Leaves Ring” (armlets edited)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: Mithral – “Agave”

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Poses & Props

Bed & Poses: Dictatorshop – “Contempo Bed” (menu driven) – NEW @ ROMP

Background: DRD – “Shadow Mansion – Light” (Bedroom, Shadow Box Bonus)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Silent Valentine?

You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. Of all the people you will know in the lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose.

[Jo Coudert]

Valentine flowers, Valentine cards, Valentine cookies, Valentine this and Valentine that… every where you go, you get it rubbed right in your face wether you like it or not…

But what is with those people who would like to avoid Valentine’s da?

Maybe someone lost a beloved person and does not want to get reminded?

Maybe someone had a bad experience on Valentine’s day and tries to forget?

Maybe some people believe, that Valentine’s day only was made for the retail and do not want to support that?

What ever reason people have, I think that everyone should be able to make their own decisions about if they want to celebrate Valentine’s day or not.

I do not needย  a special day to tell those I love how much I love them and I would not just do that on one special day. If I want to make my partner a little present, I do that on any day and as often as I want during the year. Sometimes it is just a little thing, maybe candy or something I saw and thought he would like it,ย  just a gesture or maybe just spend some precious time together. I even think it is the many little things that really show how much you do love someone else and not a huge present on a special day, that you are told by the calendar.

That brought me to today’s post as I wanted to do something different for Valentine’s day, but as well keep the typical red color ๐Ÿ˜‰

So many new events started and so many new amazing creations got released, I really had a hard time to decide what I would like to wear and use for todays pictures. I ended up with a huge mix and match for my look and as well for the set.

For the outfit I chose a combination of the new “Diana” outfit from [sYs] and a new lingerie from La Perla. You certainly can wear “Diana” without a lingerie underneath but I thought it does give a nice romantic contrast to do so ๐Ÿ˜‰

The awesome bracelets and the very special mask, I found at ROMP. When I tried the “Blinded” mask from Cubic Cherry, it immediately added a very intensive feeling to the whole look. With the metal look and the shaped eye contour, it did remind me on that old Roman theater masks.

The head piece is an art piece itself. It was made by LouLou Teichmann, owner and designer of Bauhaus Movement, and with the amazing details and the super sweet look, it made the perfect contrast to the mask.

I would like to drag your attention onto the hair a little more. Recently I discovered a new hair store. I am super picky with hair, especially with the textures, but when I tried my first Sintiklia Hair I was totally amazed. Not only the textures are awesome, Sintiklia has an amazing way how they create their hair at the base. You do not really need a hairbase with the way they do their end parts that meet the head and there is NO alpha issues at all! On many of their hair styles, they even include a style HUD, so that you can change the look of it and get more than one style with your hair. With the “Salma” hair, that I found at ROMP, you get a style HUD that gives you the possibility of 4 different ways how you can wear your hair! And usually you find a mirrored possibility if you have wisps of hair coming down at the front. So often I was cursing when the pose was not cooperation with my hair and I wished I would have had such an option to just change the side of the wisps. As if that would not be already awesome enough, with many of the Sintiklia hair you will get – besides the usual color HUDs – a tint color picker add-on HUD. With that you even can work on the shades of a certain color to match it perfectly to your skin and as well your look! You really should try some of their demos and see for yourself – I only can highly recommend it!

Another part of my post, which I would like to spotlight a little bit, is the sweet looking ‘daybed’ – if you call those things like that. It is a little stool with sweet ribbons and cute ruffles, that comes with many different textures. On the first view you would never believe what is behind that “cute mask” if you do not realize the little metal rings that are added to all the ribbons! Maybe you will get rough idea, if I tell you that the “Boudoir Bondage Stool” was made by Dictatorshop… ok the name might discover something already as well :p

This sweet little furniture you might imagine in a sweet girls room until you sat on it – and if you are a dork like me you enabled your RLV before as it said something about RLV and capture yourself on it *facepalms* It has a full ‘Dictatorshop known’ engine for all kind of couples and solos and for some poses it does even rezz cuffs and chains! What I liked most, you can pose solo in a non kinky way as well as you can roleplay all kind of scenes with it – private ones, which I resisted making picture of :p You still can get it, if you get you an actual Bound Box with a lot of other goodies in it at the Bound Box HQ!

I hope you enjoyed my little ‘different’ interpretation of my personal Valentine today ๐Ÿ˜‰

Happy Valentine’s for all who celebrate it and happy shopping!

Details

Outfit & Accessories:

Outfit: [sYs] – “Diane” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Kinky

Lingerie: {La Perla} – “Bela Ensemble” (Maitreya Applier) – NEW @ Enchantment

Shoes: UTOPIA@Design – “Kaliska” (Maitreya)

Mask: [Cubic Cherry] – “Blinded” – NEW @ ROMP

Headpiece: Bauhaus Movement – “Grimhilde Headpiece”

Necklace: [ abrasive ] – “Romance Necklace” – NEW @ Enchantment

Bracelets: NOIR – “Sophia Bracelets” – NEW @ ROMP

Rings: Meva – “Bento Maitreya Rings Gold” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup:

Hair: Sintiklia – “Salma” – NEW @ ROMP

Body & Tattoos:

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4,1”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pores & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Tattoo: Redfish – “Beast Tattoo” (Maitreya Applier) – NEW @ Enchantment

Set:

Stool: Dictatorshop – “Boudoir Bondage Stool” – NEW @ Bound Box

Cage: Ama & Nais – “Box Cage” – NEW @ ROMP

Table & Deco: <Heart Homes> – “The Rose Silver Table” & “The Enchanted Rose Red” – NEW @ Enchantment

Wall Art:ย Atelier Visconti – “Vincent Wall Art”

Lamp: Trompe Loeil – “Wiggle Modern Light” (Gacha)

Chains: [Arch] Deco – “Box of Chains”

Model & Photographer:

Wicca Merlin