I don’t wanna fight the world alone

Poseidon – “Amazon Princess 5 rev” (lightly moded for the left arm)

TUNES

Never wanted to feel
Never wanted you to steal my heart
Never wanted to know
Never wanted to show I’m weak

Always wanted to be
Always wanted you to see my heart
Always wanted your love
Always wanted but never was

Never told you before
Never loved you more

I’m falling all over myself
Trying to be someone else
I wish you would dare to walk me home
So I wouldn’t have to feel alone

I’m falling all over myself
Dying to be someone else
I wish you would dare to walk me home
I don’t wanna fight the world alone

[Pretty Reckless]

Pose: Infiniti – “Coy 3M” (lightly moded for the left arm)

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself”
[Earl Nightingale]

I am sure we all know that feeling… you got hurt to the bones and all you want is revenge in the very first moment, before your mind comes clear again.

It feels like some one ripped you apart and you want nothing more, than that person slowly dying, under all the pain that you even can imagine. Sometimes maybe we even need that feelings to wakeup, even if it feels like your heart got ripped out. Sometimes it opens our eyes that we closed by trust to someone, no matter what others said.

I am guilty for that, because I never listen to what one person has to say about another. I want to make my own experiences, without being biased by any kind of opinion. That might sound stupid to many, but for me in general it was a good thing, even if you get disappointed and hurt sometimes. I would not have met some of my dearest friends, just because others did not go well along with them. When you get older it is easier to listen first and to keep it in the back of your head without letting it affect your first meeting with a new person. But in general I am still stubborn with that and wanna know that person first before do any kind of judgment.

If you met such a person, and you go along well over many years and then all of a sudden that person turns around 180° and shows exactly that behavior, that you was warned about, THAT even hurts more than a ‘usual’ disappointment. That happened to me only 2 times in SL for thank god and not too many times in RL either. But in that very moments, it felt a blood rage coming up from deep inside and I was not able to do anything, because I was not even told what my mistake would have been, to make that person change so badly. You think of all kind of actions what you could do to that person, not only to hurt them but to get rid of that pain deep inside you. Sometimes it even makes you crazy when you try to figure out, what could have happened and do not find anything that would lead to such an action.

I always was a hot head with deep emotions and when I was younger it was even worse than today. As a kid I had to take immediate action somehow to lower that kind of pain. Today I at least can sit back and calm down first. After some time the pain lowers and I do not anymore feel like blinded by a mask of rage. I learned to deal with that kind of pain. Usually I tell myself, that we are all humans and humans are doing those things sometimes. That I am not always responsible for 360° mind changes, just because some people like to listen to others and never really do the hassle to try to get you known, or ask about a gossip they were told. That would require a lot of strength, to confront someone with a gossip and maybe not getting the response that you want. It is easier to believe something someone said about somebody, instead of going to that person and say “Hey I heard you did this/ said that about me”. I do that and even that can cost you a friendship, but then… that friendship might not have been hold too long anyways, or not being worth the effort to do that. Like Frank N. Further sang it already in the Rocky Horror Picture Show “Don’t judge a book by its” cover”! Sometimes it might be worth it to at least read the first few lines before you doom someone. You even might be surprised, what is behind that cover – or even that gossip you heard – if you know both sides. I know taking that time is an effort, but it might pay off positive in the end 😉

Real friendship, that even survives gossips and mistakes, is something very valuable to me and I do have a very few people in my RL and SL, that I would put my hand into fire for and I know – anyways when I call them, or if I try to reach them – they will be there for me – even in the middle of the night.

Having those friends, who even listen if you are in a bad pain psychological or physical, makes that pain not that heavy anymore. Sometimes they even can help you to calm down and see the other side of the coin by taking off your rage mask.

I am grateful for all of you, that helped me through hard, emotional situations. You know who you are, without me throwing names! Than you for making my Second Life more nice everyday and sometimes even my real life ♥

Pose: Infiniti – “Coy 3M” (lightly moded for the left arm)

Outfit & Accessories

Outfit (+Torso, feeet & hands): CURELESS [+] – “Anatomic Doll” (Maitreya, Bento, Gacha)

Collar: Salt & Pepper (S&P) – “Octoberfest Collar – Black” (Gacha)

Nails (right hand): [CX] – “Heavily Nailed – Rough”

Heart (left hand): CURELESS [+] – “Valentine’s Heart”

Hair & Makeup

Hair: no.match – “No.Case”

Body & Tattoo

Head: CURELESS [+] – “Luxury Dolls/Amethyst” (Gacha)

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Skin: CURELESS [+] – “Luxury Dolls / Appliers & Carved Three” (Maitreya Applier, comes with the Head)

Poses & Props

Poses: Poseidon – “Amazon Princess 5 rev” + Infiniti – “Coy 3M” (both lightly moded for the left arm)

Backdrop: [CX] – “Crucem Inverso”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Disarranged…

The picture exactly shows how I feel sometimes… Totally disarranged but… somehow still interesting*laughs*

Did you ever came across such a situation where you had something in mind, started to style for your idea and for whatever reason, the whole concept fell and was replaced by a complete different idea? It happens to me so often…

When I started to dress for this post, I had a military style in mind with the “Orsay” dress, but then I remembered the cool puppet hanger from Curio Obscura and the same time [Gos] released their “Natalie” ankle boots and all of a sudden my idea changed to something complete different. The first idea only had the dress in the focus and then I got shoes that matched so wonderful so I had to find an idea where i can showcase the dress AND the shoes 😉

Recently I had to re-think my idea for shoe posts as I did not like the “closeup only” pictures of shoes and accessories. I wanted something that still would allow more than just one part of the body in the picture and so I started experimenting a lot with crazy poses, crouch poses and certain sit and kneel poses. Sometimes it becomes more editorial looking and sometimes it just falls in place to a cool picture with the right angle. It is really fun the more you dare to fool around with poses and angles. Sometimes it just looks weird but if you just try a little more and not be afraid of crazy ideas it becomes way more exciting and interesting.

I will try to play more with those kid of ideas in the future and hope you will enjoy the results as much as I do 😉 Thanks a lot for reading!

Details

Outfit & Accessories:

Dress: [sYs] – “Orsay” (Maitreya)

Shoes: [Gos] – “Natalie Ankle Boots” (Maitreya)

Knees: .:Avanti:. – “Knit Knee Warmers” (Maitreya)

Crown: Enfant Terrible – “Crown Roses ULTRA RARE” (Gacha)

Rings: *elise* – “Orietta” (Maitreya)

Nails: Slackgirl – “Lourds Mesh Nails” (Maitreya)

Hair & Makeup:

Hair: Fabia – “Luida”

Makeup: Zibska – “Araceli Makeup” & “Araceli Lips” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoos:

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Poses & Props:

Poses: Poseidon & Helamiyo

Props:

Puppethanger: Curio Obscura – “Marionette Controls and Strings”

Stage: Wimey – “Speakeasy Stage”

Model & Photographer:

Wicca Merlin

Illusion – Sometimes you wish…

Illusion

I know it’s hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don’t want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you’re human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand. Please, don’t cry now

Being like you are
Well this is something else, who would comprehend?
But some that do, lay claim
Divine purpose blesses them
That’s not what I believe, and it doesn’t matter anyway
A part of your soul ties you to the next world
Or maybe to the last, but I’m still not sure
But what I do know, is to us the world is different
As we are to the world but I guess you would know that

Please don’t go, I want you to stay
I’m begging you please, please don’t leave here
I don’t want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please don’t go, I want you to stay
I’m begging you please, oh please don’t leave here
I don’t want you to change
For all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion, always trying to change you
[VNV Nation]

VIDEO

This video, inspired me for today’s post. In the moment when I saw the amazing “Uh Oh Makeup” from Slackgirl.
We all know that – sometimes we desire to be something or someone else. Those moments when all those self-doubts devour you from the inside and you just wish to escape your own body or the situation that you are in. But would that really be worth it? It might seem easier on the first view but would you not miss your past, all the things that made you to what you are now? Would this new desire not make it even worse? Would this moment not come again some when – a new desire to again be someone or something else?
I do think those moments let us grow. Each time they happen and we work them through we gain experiences and as well come out of them even stronger.
Secondlife to me was such an escape in the past. When my RL turned upside down, Wicca was my refuge. I know how crazy that must sound, but others find their hide out in alcohol and drugs so for that amount of time where it was really bad, I am happy I had Wicca instead. I always was aware of, that it was a running from reality and I never believed SL could be any kind of reality than a virtual one. So I was well aware of what I did and did not lose myself in a virtual environment completely.
I know we all say, that we know Secondlife is a game and that we always can press the red “X” on the right upper corner. But if you are in SL for 10 years, your avatar and the people around you as well as the things you do become a part of you. Certainly I would not go around and tell my RL friends I am a model in SL and that would count anything towards my RL… if that makes sense. But I can tell about a game that I play and that I use it as my free time fun like others use other things – for example surfing on the internet, doing YouTube videos, doing handicrafts or what ever they enjoy in their free time, besides work and socializing in real life.
Nowadays I am not going to SL to escape anymore. My online times are way shorter as they used to be back then and sometimes I do not log in for days when I have RL appointments or wanna meet friends. The purpose of login in changed, but I still do have fun with Secondlife – just different.
I still enjoy to do things that I could not do in real life and as well I do enjoy designing a lot. To me designing is kinda the same as for others doing handicrafts maybe. Producing something and see how something grows under your fingers until you have a final product. The same applies to blogging and making pictures 😉
Secondlife can be an addiction, yes as you can easily lose yourself in it, but if you are aware of that, it can be a nice hideout with lots of fun and meeting amazing people – some even might become part of your real life out there 🙂
For me Secondlife never could replace my real – I do love my life now, but it is a nice way to live parts of your dreams and illusions 😉
Details
Clothing & Accessories:
Outfit: Tentacio & Cureless – “Galatea Doll Lolita – Onepiece” (Gacha, for the Galatea Doll Lolita Body)
Necklace: shanghai – “Xana”
Headpiece: [sys] – “Hecate”
Hair & Makeup:
Face Art: Slackgirl – “Uh Oh Makeup” (LeLutka Applier)
Body & Tattoo:
Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”
Skin: YS&YS – “Immortal Skin” (LeLutka Applier)
Body: Tentacio & Cureless – “Galatea Doll Lolita Body” (Gacha, Rare)
Props & Poses:
Fruct0se & Poseidon
Model & Photographer:

Wicca’s Wardrobe: Pinabella

Pinabella

You all know how it is with famous brothers, everybody knows them. But did you know that Pinocchio had a little sister? After he met the sad Fairy on his journey, she felt lonely. She decided to ask Master Geppetto to carve her a doll she could bring to life and raise as the child she could not have any other way.

The dollmaker granted her wish, because she helped his son so much to find the right way and finally become a real boy. He carved the most beautiful doll and gave it to the fairy. She was overwhelmed when her little doll came to life and promised her to make her Pinabella a real girl when the dolly had proven her character.

When the doll grew older, the fairy was pleased how her daughter turned out to be. One day, she talked to her about making her a real girl. Pinabella did not know what to think of that, because she never felt wrong about being what she was. But as it seemed to be important to her mom, she agreed.

They went to a nearby lake to transform the doll. The fairy gave her the kiss of life. She had thought her power to create life was endless, but alas, it was not. As she watched her daughter turning into a beautiful young woman, she saw her eyes widening with shock. Only then she realized her own spark was fleeing her body and she was vanishing from this world to enter the next one. She only managed to tell her daughter that she loved her and to be as good a human as she had been a doll.

The girl stood there shattered her mother had left her. Thus, losing her life for hers. Only when the first shock left her, she cried bitter tears of loss and loneliness. From that day on, Pinabella went to the lake every day to cry for her mother. And sometimes, when her misery was just too much she heard her mother‘s voice in the wind, soothing her like she had always done: „Hushhhhhhhh.“

Details

Dress (incl necklace and hat): Ezura – “Peu Loli”

Shoes: Ezura – “Peu Loli Floral Shoes”

Nails: Formanails – “Kuralisa”

Hair: DeLa – “Marley” (mesh) – “Kuralisa”

Socks: [SB] – “Knit Suspender Socks”

Make-Up: YaYo – “Running Mascara”

Skin: Silken Moon – “Wicca”

Poses: In-Pose – “Sad Wicca” (Trinity… again you helped me as I was despairing with making and searching poses for this post. Thank you so much for being you, a friend of mine and being there for me  🙂 )

Story: Malicia Python (Thank you so much Malicia, you are a never ending ending sea of inspiration, ideas and kindness. It is an honor for me to call you a friend 🙂 )

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin

Tartan Fun with Ezura ;)

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Wicca’s Wardrobe: LOTD 07/18/2012 – Sweet Dolly Doll

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Cute News by Ezura!!!

Ezura‘s latest release really is one of the most cute things I got lately. The sweet “Lolita Latex” dress really touched my ‘dolly heart’ 😉 I had to style it the cute way at least once 🙂 The short latex, flexi skirt perfectly goes with the “Lolita Latex” boots (sold seperately) in color and style. The corsage makes a strict and tight contrast to the puffy ruffles and the little brooch of the top.

As we know from Ezura, she always acts like a perfectionist if it comes to designs and textures. Latex is one of the most difficult texture to do in SL I was told by many designers, because of the lightnings and shadows to produce this typical shine. As we can see on this dress Ezura did an amazing job and made it as realistic as possible.

The dress is available in many different colors and for the “Twisted  Krissmuss Event”   Ezura made a special color, wich I liked a lot as well.

All prims do have resizer in it so that you can fit it perfectly to your avatar. For the skirt you have the flexi prim option that I have on my pics and as well a sculpted non flexi one. To see more of Ezura‘s latest releases or to see all the colors (black, red, blue, yellow, pink, purple) of the “Lolita Latex” dress you better make your way to the Ezura Mainstore and take a look by yourself 😉

As well Ezura celebrates her 3rd Anniversary with a special event and sale.

(texture provided by Ezura)

For her inworld group she made a special gift what is as well amazing for the holiday season.

(textures provided by Ezura)

Details

Look 1:

Dress: Ezura – “Lolita Latex” /blue – NEW

Boots: Ezura – “Lolita Latex Boots” /blue – NEW

Hair: Tukinowaguma – “Jubatus”

Nails: Finesmith – “Snowflake”

Makeup: LovelyMi

Lipstick: L. Fauna

Lashes: Redgrave

Look 2:

Dress: Ezura – “Lolita Latex” – Krissmuss Special – NEW

Boots: Ezura – “Lolita Latex Boots” – Krissmuss Special – NEW

Jewelry: Finesmith – “Winter Flower”

Hair: Vanity Hair

Makeup: Miamai

Lipstick: L. Fauna

Poses: Di’s Opera

Model & Photographer (Pic 1-4): Wicca Merlin

DoJo for Relay for Life – Amazing “DejaVu” inblack and white for charity :)

Again Sanders Beaumont shows that he is very kind if it comes to helping 🙂 Lately I already had his contribution for the Pacific Crisis Fundraiser (http://wiccamerlin.wordpress.com/2011/03/31/dojo-and-body-talking-for-the-pacific-crisis-fundraiser-project/).

Now I have the pleasure to show you the actual contribution for the Relay for Life 2011 event.

“DejaVu” by DoJo is a very neat and cute black & white dress. As well as the “Hanami” outfit that was made for the PCF the “DejaVu” dress is made with an amazing sculpted skirt and many little detailed like the ribbons on the wrists and the sweet sticks for the hair. The incredible shoes are part of the whole outfit too. The full outfit gets sold for 250L$ only and each and every linden goes to the charity cause. At this point we should really bow to Sanders Beaumont for his kindness and will to help with his amazing designing and creating skills! So hurry and get your “DejaVu” outfit and helo to raise money for a good cause!!!

Deails

Outfit & Shoes: DoJo – “DejaVu”

Skin: Glam Affair

Eye Makeup: Nuuna’s

Hair: epoque

Poses: Del May

Model & Photographer: Wicca Merlin

Cute like a Dolly

The Black Canary - Ephemeral 001A few ago I had the pleasure to be part of the first Opium Tales by the Opium Fashion Agency. I twas a sweet show running in a lovely doll house with the first vertical runwway in SL 🙂 The models were placed in little transparet boxes like the dollys in the stores and the elevator was moving up and down through 3 floors of that amazing furnitured doll house. One if the outfits I was wearing for this show was the “Ephemeral” made by Morrigan Denimore the designer of “The Black Canary”.

This white dress is an amazing creation of TBC and shows the love for the detail of Morrigan Denimore. The corsage made of so many little prims and an awsome texture that imagines a lovely lace covering the upper body. The corsage is decorated with ruffles, feathers, ribbons and lines. The skirt has a short front and a long back. This makes it possible to see the stunning stockings also decorated with little ribbons and ruffles as the would have little garter bands on each side. The skirt looks like it woudl have different layers and everysingle layer moves in fantastic motions. and the top of the skirt also is ornamented with amazing ruffles and ribbons in the front and in the back. The great, adorable little hat has the same amazing feathers and ruffles and has added a fantastic lace veil.

In this picture you can see all the lovey feathers, ribbons and ruffles better…Also the dress has a magnificant feature…sweet little feathers are flying round this dress while wearing it. I really felt like a sute little dolly while modeling this outfit and as we had the vendors of  The Black Canary at the ground floor of the doll house at the Opium Sim, I could not resist to buy another one…but this will be shown in a nother blog post 😉

Details:

Outfit:  The Black Canary – “Ephemeral”

Shoes: BAX – Ankle Boots /white

Hair: (VW) – London Imapct /black