Just the Way I am

TUNES

Maybe I’ma get a little anxious
Maybe I’ma get a little shy
‘Cause everybody’s trying to be famous
And I’m just trying to find a place to hide
All I wanna do is just hold somebody
But no one ever wants to get to know somebody
I don’t even know how to explain this
I don’t even think I’m gonna try
And that’s okay
I promise myself one dayI’ma tell ’em all that you could either hate me or love me
But that’s just the way I am
[Charlie Puth]

I rarely dress up to go shopping, clubbing or socializing – Usually I just wear the last outfit I blogged as I had that styled up anyways :p But today I felt not really blogging and I just put on some things I bought lately. With each piece I added I liked the look more – something I really did not feel for a long time and I have to admit… I like it! So this will be an “unscheduled” just the way I am picture series ๐Ÿ™‚ This look could be something I could imagine wearing on tour, or on stage with the band as well.

Yesterday I had a blast and it happened out of the blue… Nefertiti Kimagawa IMed me! I did not hear from her in ages and I was totally excited when I saw her IM popping up. We talked a little while about what we had done in the meantime and when I told her, I did open my own store she came over to see it. Certainly I had to TP down and when I landed I saw a tall, awesome demon. It really reminded me of good old times and we indulged in reminiscences about her store and as well about Claim the Fame, a designers contest we did years ago with SL Art Couture. Nefer was one of the contestants. I even still had a vendor picture where she used me as a model for an outfit and helmet called Wicca – I still remember how honored I felt when she named it after me. All of a sudden I saw an orange cloud right beside us – Nefer TPed someone… it was Kalyabreeaa Capelo! The designer of Mad Diva and my personal hero for the first avant garde bikini back in 2011 (http://wiccamerlin.de/can-swimwear-be-avantgarde-or-couture-mad-diva-shows-it/) It felt so crazy, to have 2 old friends in our store now, while I was blogging for them years ago, when I worked as a model *snickers* I tried to convince both of them to design again, as I really miss their awesome, crazy and avant garde ideas!

I never thought it would be so much fun to roll back in time for a few moments and think about all the cool things we did – but it really felt amazing and it put a smile on my face. I hope that it won’t take as long until we meet again ๐Ÿ™‚

As if that would not already have been the best evening for ages, Kaly mentioned she would TP another “model granny” over and before I could ask – Latrelly Flux rezzed in! OMG that really became a dinosaur revival :p I did not see all of them in ages, neither we talked, but it felt so good to se them again and while we were talking, it became more and more as we would have never stopped talking. I again felt like the dwarf between those ladies – as always – even if I am now not as high as I used to be as a model… even back then I was the tiniest ๐Ÿ˜‰

I do not wanna roll back the time, but we really had great times back then. Modeling was completely different.. and alive.We did not have as many events and designers really created full collections a few time of the year and not just one new outfit for a monthly event. We had Fashion Weeks or Designer Showcases to release their newest collections and it was really fun. They booked us for vendor shoots and I remember very well how honored and proud we felt, being used as vendor model – It really was a privilege and sometimes we even got paid for it.

I do not want to say, in the past everything was better – things change with time and future not just brings negative things, if you are able to develop and adapt new ways of doing tings. It is hard to release the past, especially if it was a nice one, but even if things change and force you to change it can be something good. Most of the time if you stick too hard to the past, it will hurt you and as well it will stop you from developing forward. I learned that more than once, but if you made your peace with that – it isn’t that painful and more and it happens way faster and easier, as if you fight against it everyday ๐Ÿ™‚

I hope I made sense with what I was trying to say… in the end I am no native English speaker, but I try my best ๐Ÿ˜‰

Outfit

Top: [CX] – “Mucronate Top – Leather” (Maitreya)

Pants: adorsy – “Marilice Pants Jeans Original” (Maitreya)

Shoes: **UTOPIA@Design** – “Rebeca” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Necklace: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Borg Necklaces (Girl)”

Bracelets (right): [ kunst ] – “Conrad Bracelet / Female” & Taylor Bracelets (F)”

Bracelet (left): amias – “Jasna black”

Rings: FORMANAILS – “Accessories for Maitreya Bento – Rings Simple” (Maitreya, Bento)

Nailpolish: Dark Passsions – “Koffin Nails – Mist Connection” (Maitreya Applier)

Septum: [ kunst ] – “Anuket Septum Ring”

Lips Piercing: [CX] – “Spiked Gloss”

Hair & Makeup

Hair: .shi – “Eirene / Her”

Body & Tattoo

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Ears: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Ears Gomory”

Tattoo: [White~Widow] – “Replicas” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props

Background: Pseudo– “Paul T Scene Backdrop” (Gacha, Rare)

Poses: Foxcity – “Legs for Days” & “Sits Vol1” (Bento)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

 

Cheeky Bunny

I do not know what it is, but something changed in the past month for me when it comes to taking pictures. I worry about a lot of things, I never thought about before, I do like playing with lights, projectors and “no light” or “low light” windlight settings. The less light you have around you, the more control you get about the lights around you. In the past I first chose my windlight and then added one or two lights or projectors – lately I do it the other way round. I first set up my lights and then look for a windlight, that supports my idea. In the beginning it felt weird to set up out of the darkness, but it becomes better with each try. As well I discovered different desires, which I would like to have for my pictures and so I started a few new “learning projects”. I watched a lot of tutorials, practiced a lot and learned many new things.

One project that started – I tried to start that, since my vacation had begun – was to paint hair. I do have a graphic tablet forever but besides using it for textures I never touched it for pictures, as my mouse felt so much better with that. But try to paint hair with your mouse.. even if you really think you can control your mouse perfectly, but things like the pen pressure, I only get with the tablet. I forced myself to play with it and watched many tutorials. Slowly it starts working, but it really needs a lot of practice and I am not yet ready to show it offย  more than a few strands of hair ๐Ÿ˜‰

To not loose my motivation, I started to play with some ready made hair strands and wisps as well as hair brushes for Photoshop, as those as well helped me a lot to understand the basic hair drawing. When I found the strands from Rayne Morgan, I was completely speechless. I rarely saw such a well drawn hair in all it’s details and if you are willing to credit her work, she even offers a few free downloads on her Deviantart site (https://www.deviantart.com/raynemorgan).

There I found some interesting ready made hair as well for instant use. I always had wondered, how some photographers were able to paint or photograph hair and have such amazing results on Flickr. When I saw the website of Rayne Morgan… I immediately did know how a few did that ๐Ÿ˜‰

It is really breathtaking how that hair can change a Second Life picture like it did for the closeup above. You get the hair as a PSD file. You are able to color and as well warp it, until it matches your Second Life snapshot. I could not resist, to even work on that one by adding some more wisps and paint some little strands myself. It is not the end of my hair-paint experiences, as I really want to archive painting my own hair completely one day, but I wanted to share the progress and as well the way of keeping up my motivation to do so ๐Ÿ™‚

Outfit & Accessories

Outfit: //Ascend// – “Diora” (Maitreya) – NEW @ The Fetish Fair 2018 – 2nd Edition

Panty: .:Avanti:. – “Adara Panty” (Maitreya)

Shoes: UTOPIA@Design – “Jora” (Maitreya)

Hand & Rings: [Since1975] – “No Mercy Rings” (Maitreya, Bento)

Mask: FnH – “Bunny Mask”

Earrings: Elle Boutique – “Jaclyn Earring”

Hair & Makeup

Hair: Besom – “Piggy Bank”

Makeup: Zibska – “Radi Eyemakeup” (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: Izzie’s – “Metallic Lipsticks” (LeLutka Applier)

Hair for Closeup: Rayne Morgan

Head & Body

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Face: Izzie’s – “Pore & Blemishes” (LeLutka Applier)

Legs: Zibska – “Wild Thang” (Maitreya Applier) – NEW @ TheSecret Affair

Poses & Props

Poses: Foxcity

Set:

Couch: [Ds] – “Contempo Ladies Chaise” – NEW @ The Fetish Fair 2018 – 2nd Edition

Lamp: Trompe Loeil – “Wiggle Modern Light”

Statue: NOMAD – “Bright Headed Mannequin C”

Mirror: [Figure 8] – “Narcissus Mirror Silver”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin