The Darkness Inside

I did think a long time about a title for this post and pictures and after a conversation with a dear, sweet friend today, I suddenly had the idea – “The dark beast inside of me sometimes needs some release”

We all know that feeling I guess. You often just try to be polite and kind even if you feel that the inner beast tries to break free. In my life I learned that his beast has two different sides. It is very emotional and hot-headed on one side and sometimes it can be very dark ironic and sarcastic on the other. That is why I learned to control it and keep it locked in chains inside of me.

Certainly I was told to not always swallow all my emotions and everything that I get told, but the same time there is way how you can express this in a polite and adult way.

The most difficult it gets when you feel hurt. Because then this beast inside just rambles and rattles with the chains, developing immense power so that I sometimes really be afraid it would break that chains and just break free.

But exactly those situations taught me the most. When I was able to still keep it inside, it felt as a success to not let it win over me just because of someones judgement, rumors, gossips or words.

Every time I was able to keep it locked away, I felt that I did grow stronger. It was a long process and it took me years and sadly it is still not perfectly locked. But maybe it does not have to be, because everything has an end as well and so does patience, understanding and politeness. Sometimes people really need to know when they overstepped a line or did hurt me even if they will not believe nor change their behaviour – most of the time because they can’t as they have nothing in their life than trying to make others miserable. Then you do not even need to argue with those, because you can’t win. Anyways what you will say to prove them wrong they will turn it around and again use it against you no matter what. So all you can do is let it go, turn around and move on.

If you move on, you will meet new people in the future who will treat you with more respect and in an adult way. Certainly not only those, but all the others will wait for you left and right as well and maybe it is the personal challenge of everyone’s life to pass those who do not matter to meet those who DO matter – if that makes any sense. That does not mean you should not take any critiques, but you can learn to decide between the good and the bad critique. The bad, that only was used to hurt, blame or accuse you without any content OR the one that sometimes hurts too a bit – because you might have seen it different – but that as well contains facts and things that let you learn and grow from.

In the end you are the one, that has to make the decisions in your life – nobody can do or should do that for – as long as you can.

For me it feels better to have a mainly positive life (all of us have bad days or experiences) instead of a hate filled, jealous and not satisfied one. I always ask myself – before I react on things – if it would be worth fighting or arguing about something, or just smile and say thank you, turn around and move on. Both cases did happen and both will happen in the future, but if I argue or discuss I try to stay with the facts, be polite and kind and as well stay adult and not just release the inner beast without thinking. If that happens, I exactly would do that, what I do not want be done to myself – hurt, accuse or become personal and unobjective – and that is not an option to me if I can control it. I have to admit, over the years I became way more calm in such situations and maybe it is the age that lets you think before you take any action πŸ˜‰

Details

Clothing & Accessoires:

Outfit: Salt & Pepper – “Strapped” (Gacha, Maitreya)

Arms Straps: L’Emporio – “Harness Arms” (Maitreya)

Shoes: Bax – “Regency Boots”

Chains: E.V.E Studio – “{Apocalyptica} Cyber Snake Chains”

Makeup & Hair:

Hair: A&Y Bunker – “Cyro Hair”

Hairbase: Mina – “Myla Hairbase” (LeLutka Applier)

Makeup: Zibska – “Ballard Makeup” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo:

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Ears: Swallow – “Pixie Ears”

Arms: Zibska – “Speckles” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props:

Pose: Poseidon

β€œThe hardest thing was simply to speak.”

β€œThe chains and the silence, which should have bound her deep within herself, which should have smothered her, strangled her, on the contrary freed her from herself.”

[Pauline Reage]

The Story of O is an erotic novel of the French author Anne Desclos written under her pen name Pauline Reage.

Published in 1954 it was a very hot discussed book, maybe that is why it did take Anne Desclos so long to discover herself as the original author. Desclos claims , that she wrote the whole story as a series of letter to her lover Jean Paulhan.

She shares dreams, imaginations and desires, which are nowadays are not anymore that ‘abstract’ than they seemed back in 1954 πŸ˜‰

Based on the novel, dresses got tailored, according to the description of certain dresses that Pauline Reage made in her novel. Over the time we have many different ones – 50 years are a long time to have several ideas for such dresses πŸ˜‰ all of them required an open font and back as well as a topless option.

One of them in Second Life would be the “Story of O” outfit by Salt & Pepper. The outfit contains the wonderful dress with a huge HUD to change the texture of the leather and satin of dress to six different colors and as well the typical collar and the cuffs for wrists and ankles (as well HUD driven). If you take a closer look at the collar and the cuffs you again can see the filigree details on the chains and as well the texture on the dress with the combination of leather and satin shows the amazing designing skills of Salt.

The dress is top less as described in the novel but to keep it PG I decided to wear a bra for the picture πŸ˜‰ The wonderful bra comes from Blacklace and is part of the “Niki” set in red leather & lace. To me it looked perfect to the “Story of O” dress πŸ˜‰

For the makeup I used one eyeshadow of a set I lately kinda use only, as it gives me the perfect look for colorful lipsticks. The “Noir Pack 06” from Zibska. I really do love either colorful lipstick OR eyeshadow. With the bright, shiny red lipstick from je suis, the light smokey eyes from Zibska looked just perfect.

Speaking of lipstick from je suis… Julia Merosi is back with amazing new lipsticks for Catwa and LeLutka! Her new sets really cover each color you can imagine and with each tone you get 5 different shades of the color you purchased and certainly if you are addicted to have always a matching lipstick you will get the fact pack with all of them :p

Roleplay is a huge part of Second Life, any kind of different communities are virtually living their dreams, desires and fantasies – Which one is yours?

Details

Dress (incl Collar & Cuffs): Salt & Pepper (S&P) – “Story of O” – NEWΒ  We <3 RP

Bra: Blacklace – “Niki” (Maitreya Applier)

Hair: DeLa – “Dorothy”

Makeup: Zibska – “Noir Pack 06”

Lipstick: je suis… – “lelutka lips no. 002 – shiny [reds]” (LeLutka Applier)

Nail Polish: Dark Passions – “Dominatrix – Silver”

Poses: Poseidon

Basics:

Head: LeLutka – β€œSimone 2.3”

Body: Maitreya – β€œLara V3.5”

Eyes: IKON – “Hope Eyes”

Shape: Selfmade

Set:

Chains: {RW} – “Hanging Chain Deco”

Rack: Back Bone – “Toy Rack”

Cage: [zerkalo] – “Imprisoned Steel – Slave Cage”

Pillows: Stockholm & Lima – “Pillow Pile (PG)”

Whip: 22769 ~ [bauwerk] – “Leather Whip”