I can see you understand me…

“Once you put your hand in the flame,
You can never be the same,
There’s a certain satisfaction,
In a little bit of pain.
I can see you understand me
Tell that you’re the same”

[Madonna]

Sometimes it needs a kind person and some amazing conversations to be inspired for a certain picture. This happened today when I was thinking about doing a post about some awesome releases of the Fetish Fair that is currently running for a few more days. It is always difficult to do fetish or BDSM related pictures if you don’t want to be dirty or pornographic but ther is even editorial fashion shoots in the real world that are none of that. For my post I did not want the editorial ones only, I wanted some kind of emotion to it as well and that is, why I did not just use a blank background with simplistic furniture only. D/s is something very sensitive. It is part of the whole BDSM content but it is only one of a million different shades. But many people do have D/s relation ships without even being aware of. D/s itself can have a million different shades as well. Sometime girls like the fact that they are taken care of in life and that they only need to please (please ISN’T always only sexual!) a man, to be his precious he would take care of. Some girls do like older men, because they feel more safe with them and they like if they say how it goes (NOT only in a sexual way). That brings me to my next point… D/s doesn’t always have to be a sexual thing. Making a coffee for the man you belong to, because he asked for it… we could argue now if he did order you to get him one or if he just asked to have one… when you bring him that without starting a discussion or telling him off to get it on his own… you obey… you obey to a wish made by the person you love. So D/s is way more common as that we think about. Same if your partner tells you, he would like you to dress in a certain way… you can say, it is because you just love him and do it, because you know you please him with having him the gift of you wearing the particular outfit. But on the same hand you can sa it was an order you did obey to out of various reasons and motivations. D/s doesn’t mean anything else than, someone that gives orders (wishes, requests, begging… call it what ever you want) and someone that is willing to full fill them, either for a certain result or just because out of love, dedication or devotion. Where I live, we are lucky that we can be free in our choices that we make about our relation ships – I know this is not the case all over the world. And so all can decide how they want to have their relationships without being pointed with a finger at someone. Did you ever think about why in Second Life BDSM or D/s is so big? Because not everyone has the possibility to live their fantasies! Even if I made horrible experiences in Second Life with that kind of roleplay and gave up years ago in SL, because of wannabes and people who think they know it all only because they read the Story of O or saw 50 Shades of Grey on TV, it seems there is attraction in that kind of lifestyle for many and why not just let them do what ever they want as long as they to not violate any law or feelings of others who are not want to be involved? I have to admit I met a few people, that are living this lifestyle in the real world too and I had incredible amazing conversations about so many different things with them – I would not want to miss them. Most of those people are incredible skilled artists in one or both lifes and the lifestyle must have something that touches those sensitive and very special people.

Since my post tunred out totally different as intended and the shoes didn’t get the deserved spotlight on the pictures, I just thought I do a clean close up!

Recently I had the pleasure to talk more to someone, that I did know for a while and when we met, none of us did talk about BDSM or D/s or something like that. We just were assigned to do a print-work job together. It was a fashion job so far away from all of that. But when I arrived there, the way of how that person was talking already got me to my toes. I can not say why, but the way he used the English language wasn’t what I usually experienced. I mean, I did know his Flickr as I always look though peoples Flickr when I am assigned to work with them, but you find all kind of artists on that platform so I normally do not jump to conclusions if I do not know those people. The way he spoke, the use of words I never heard before for just normal conversations, did build some feelings or emotions that I could not sort the first time we met. It was a great shooting and the pictures turned out fantastic. It wasn’t the only time I had the pleasure to work with that person and I do not even remember anymore when or why I started to call him Sir, just in a normal conversation. I remember quite well, how bad I was blushing in real life, when I realized what I just said, but it just felt normal and right. He did not seem irritated by that and since it felt right, it was just normal for me to call him Sir whenever we worked together. A couple times we even just made pictures together, without any particular job behind it and they are some of the best pictures I ever had together with someone. Not too long go we got to talk more in IMs here and there and I had the pleasure to know him more each time we talked. It feels amazing if you can talk with someone in a natural way without ulterior motives, just because you are friends and respect someone. There are no words to describe our conversations, but I feel very honored to be allowed to have them. They unleash creativity, they reduce anxieties about some things, they even are an enrichment for my English skills, as I learn new words and different ways to say things. After all it feels incredible amazing to have someone, that does understand you, the way how you behave, or who you are. I have to admit, I guess I can be happy that he is so far away as I have no idea, if I could stand those eyes and voice, if I would be near him, but since I am happy in my own relationship (Yes – my partner knows about our conversations // NO – that isn’t anywhere near cheating) and far away, I just immensely enjoy those conversations and projects and hope there will be many more. Thank you Sir, for inspiring me for todays post and pictures!

Clothing

Outfit: :::insanya::: – “Helga Top & Shorts” (Maitreya)

Cuffs: Salt & Pepper (S&P) – “Bondage Deluxe Set” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Fetish Fair // August 2019

Stockings: .:Avanti:. – “Vini Stockings” (Maitreya Applier)

Shoes: [Gos] – “Tamara Ankle Boots” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Nails: .:Avanti:. – “Byzzy Nails” (Maitreya, Bento)

Rings: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Morphine Rings” (Maitreya, Bento)

Piercing: Blaxium – “Dangerous Bento Piercing – Simone” (LeLutka, Bento)

Septum: Blaxium – “Aracnida Septum Piercing Unrigged – Silver” (Gacha, Common)

Hair & Makeup

Makeup: Livia – “Desire Eyeshadow” (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: alaskametro<3 – “London” (LeLutka Applier)

Hair: no.match – “No.Aspects” – NEW @ Hairfair // August 2019

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Tattoo: RedFish – “Roses Tattoo” (Maitreya Applier) – NEW @ Fetish Fair // August 2019

Ears: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Akasuna”

Lashes: Livia  – “Whisper Lashes” (LeLutka Applier)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Foxcity

Set:

3rd Eye Perceptions – “Hanging Chain Curtain”

~*S.E.*~ – “Wall Pallet Bed (PG)”

[Since1975] – “All in1-BDSM Cage/Pole(Maledom)”

[Since1975] – “All in1-BDSM Cage/Hanger(Maledom)”

[Arch] Deco – “Box of Chains v1.0”

Mushilu – “0005bg Whip and Whispers complete”

ED. – “Anu Whip Black”

22769 – “Toys and Lube”

22769 – “Handcuffs”

22769 – “Leather Whip”

Face Animatin Tool: LeLutka – “Axis HUD Face 1.1”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Free your Mind and find Yourself!

TUNES

Before her surrender she had no life
Now she’s a slave, not a wife
Her only sorrow is for women who live with lies
She’s taken off her disguise

[Manowar]

I do love the song above and it is basically a song that has a lot of meaning to me and Red and it was just perfect for this pictures and post. In general it is not always easy if you have to hide parts of your life even to close friends just because the ‘society’ doesn’t really appreciate or understand them. I am not only talking about BDSM or D/s, but as well as things like a male loves a male, or a female loves a female, or if you have a job that other won’t understand whatever it would be. As well as if kids do not have any label clothing because they do not have a rich family, but do not want anyone to know about that when they go to school or meet other kids. There is many things that people have to hide in all kind of ways to make it through their life. The older I get the less I do want to hide things. They are a part of me and they do make me to what I am now. Even for being a musician, I often had to say I am teaching music or I do work somewhere else and just do music in my free time or on weekends. Over 20 years ago when I started my music career, music wasn’t something that was considered as a job and I often heard “And when you will learn something proper to pay your bills?”. Sure it wasn’t the life of a millionaire, especially in the beginning I had to do a lot of side jobs to make sure my bills got pair and it wasn’t only fun all the time. The longer I followed my personal decision, the better it became and in the end I was able to prove them all wrong and made my life out of music completely and it feels awesome.

Why other people or the so called ‘society’ do think they are allowed to tell one person, what to do and what not to do as long as they do not violate the law? Since when law should be able to dictate who you love, or even worse what gender you love? Just because certain religions and a lot of old fashioned people think that would be right? At school we teach all of our kids, the gifted ones and the non gifted ones that they can do what ever they can imagine in their life and be happy with that… and with that we lie to them already, as so many factors will force them to just do something that is accepted by our ‘society’ somehow. I am not anymore a rebel that only fights against exactly that ‘society’ and tries to break free like people in the 70s already tried – I am too old for that and I am way more critical about certain things these days, even if sometimes my punk breaks free and needs its room as well from time to time 😉

Even in SL when I started modeling, people tried to tell me what I should do and what I should not do and that made me even more angry than in real life. Again, I am always talking about things that do not hurt other people or violate the TOS and the law, I am talking about things like “You can not wear shaved hair and piercings while you are in a gown” or “You can not jump between style categories, hair colors or  wear wings, elf ears and hooves to a casual spring dress!” or “If you blog for this store you should not blog for that store as they do not really like each other!” – WTF!!! This is SL! I can do what ever I please especially on my blog, my pictures or my wardrobe! No one pays me a monthly salary and can dictate my Second Life for that! I can make decisions and like in real life I have to be able to stand behind them even if I can not be everyones darling then, which NEVER works in both lifes anyways on a long term if you do not want to lose yourself. You have value, your life and opinions do have value… in our modern times there is no room for hate about religions, races, nations, other opinions and new inventions or fictions. Our past should have taught us, that we need free spirits to evolve and that hate never brought out any productive. Sometimes we need to know a person before we can judge about them and even if we do we should never try to limit or tell them what they should not do – we should encourage them to tell us about their ideas and ideologies and even if we decide that they are feeling right for us they feel right for them and need to be heard. I do not know, if that makes any sense and I am well aware of that a nation needs rules, traditions and laws to work, but all of that doesn’t give anyone the right to destroy others lifes, or make it miserable, as long as they are not guilty of a heavy crime. I am sick and tired of hearing what would be the best of me, when I can feel that this comments are just made out of jealousy, vindictiveness and power games. I did survive – RL and SL –  with going my way. I did not hurt too many people in my life and those I did hurt, if I realized it I at least had the decency to apologize and see if I could make up for what I did wrong – but you only can do that if you have friends that have the strength and grace to tell you and not just go away and talk bad behind your back. I am grateful, for all of those that stuck to me through both lifes even if I had my moments and arguments with them. They helped me to become what I am now – even if I am still no millionaire, I found luck and satisfaction in my life and as well my place in my life. There are still days, where other people try to shake and rattle my pillars and the principle, sometimes it even still hurts, but they do have a way more difficult task to do as they had to in my past. I am not saying I know everything, or I am done learning in my life… that probably never stops and I am always open minded to what ever crosses my paths, but it isn’t anymore that easy to turn my life upside down and make me question everything I experienced and learned in my life.

Just imagine, what would feel more nice if you meet a new person in your life… to look a them, judge them about their first view and words or just smile, be friendly and see what they to have to say on a second view? They might have solutions for things you did not yet found some… they might have to hide things on your first meeting as they are scared you will judge them and turn around leaving them without even really knowing them, or have given them a chance to show you who they really are? And… just turn it the other way round… how you would feel if you are judged by your cover and not even given a chance to show who you really are?

I would like to close todays post with a quote from an En Vogue song, as I really believe in that every day more, the older I get:

“Before you can read me you gotta learn how to see me, I said
Free your mind and the rest will follow
Be colour blind, don’t be so shallow.”

Clothing

Cape: ERSCH – “Devilish Joy Dress Black” (Maitreya, Gacha, Common)

Harness: OHeMO – “Olivia Body Harness” (Maitreya)

Shoes: Mosquito’s Way – “Britney” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Horns: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Horns Dracarys” – NEW @ Fetish Fair // August 2019

Forearm Sleeves: [CX] – “Lance Bracers Femme – Black” (Maitreya)

Collar: #187# – “Leashed Collar”

Piercings: *PKC* – “BDSM Bento Face Set”

Rings: : CULT :  – “Rou Rings Sset” (Maitreya, Bento)

Nails: FORMANAILS – “Stiletto 1” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: +Spellbound+ – “Control” (part of the BoundBox, no longer avbailable)

Makeup: Zibska – “Noir Pack 06” (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: LIVIA – “Juniper Lipstick” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoos

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Forehead Tattoo: CURELESS[+] – “Onibi Markings” (Omega Applier)

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Marks: .:Avanti:. – “Rope Marks Applier” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Foxcity

Set:

Sari-Sari – “Puppet Skybox”

Mushilu – “0005bg Whip and Whispers complete”

BackBone  -“Toy Rack”

{RW} – “Hanging Chain Deco – Pewter”

Fapple – “BDSM Tool Box”

[ zerkalo ] – “Handcuff Chair – Leather”

22769 ~ [bauwerk] – “Leather Whip”

Tool for Face Expressions: LeLutka – “Axis HUD Face 1.1”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Honey Don’t!

TUNES

Well, how can you say you will, when you won’t
You tell me you do, baby, when you don’t?
Let me know, honey, how you feel
Tell the truth now is love real

[Carl Perkins]

Again I am running after an event, because RL keeps giving me unlovely moments. At the Vintage Fair I found so many amazing things and could only do 2 posts so far. But all the goodies were so nice, that I could not resist to do a 3rd one with some amazing designs done for that event. I am sure you will find all the cool things at the designers’ main stores (listed below) by now.

Ok I have to admit, initially I wanted to write something more about the items, but at the moment, there is so much in my head what even kills my sleep for quite some time now.

Maybe you know that feeling… You start to work on something, something that really develops to a passion over a couple of years and then out of the blue someone – that you brought to that project – becomes jealous and tries to ruin it with all what it takes? Just out of a power addiction and the fact that they want to show you they can take it away and destroy it, just because they want with no real reason.

I use to teach and work with kids for years besides my music “career”. I never had own children and I never will have, but I always felt I could help kids, who do not have such a nice start in the first years of their life. Over the past 6 or 7 years I had a very special project.  I was allowed to work with the school I was teaching and giving music or instrumental lessons already, for a little more after the usual school times. Something kinda like homework done under supervision combined with special projects like a Musical a few years ago and recently we did a little theater for kids. It wasn’t only me – one of my best friends, nearly a sister I never had, started the whole thing with me. We grew over the years from a handful kids to over 70 – being a small school outside the city with a total of round about 110 pupils, that was quite a lot. Everything was fine and while we did grow, we had to find more staff. Since we already were a teacher and a social educator, it wasn’t mandatory to find more specialized staff and we had the freedom to look for people that we thought would fit into our vision for the project. If we would have known what one or two people only could do if the they are good intriguers… I swear I would have wished we would have kept it smaller, so that we would never would have needed those people. I never even would have came on thoughts about how mean and ugly people can be, just because they want more power or even prove they can ruin you or a project you run for nothing else than their personal satisfaction – AND what is the worst part for me, those who will suffer the most are the kids. Most of them signed up, because of our concept and because they developed some kind of connection to us. In the beginning I thought, that their bad games would be discovered, but as always before in my life, it seems at the moment as those will get away with it and win… again… sadly. I am not worried finding something else, but if you put your heart into something, it does hurt if someone rips out that part. I still have a tinly little piece of hope, that justice will be done, otherwise I will see where my journey goes to in September 2019 🙂 . Ok… enough for today, but it felt good to write all that down and off my chest. I promise next one will be less emotional and private 😉

Clothing

Top: *By Swirly* – “Dixie Shirt” (Maitreya)

Pants: *By Swirly* – “Dixie Jeans” (Maitreya)

Shoes: Ghee Originals – “Alice T-bar Shoes” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Glasses: :Z.S: – “Gemmed Retro Glasses”

Necklace: [ abrasive ] – “Romance Necklace”

Earrings: EMO-tions – “Cherry”

Bangle: *Ticky Tacky* – “Insomniac Bangles” (stire closed)

Bracelet: L&B – “Swear Holiday Corded Bracelet”

Rings: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Thunderstrike Rings” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: TRUTH – “Sadie”

Makeup: Look at me – “Eyeliner Pack 1” (Omega Applier)

Lipstick: LIVIA – “Juniper Lipstick” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoos

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Tattoo: Ivory & Rose – “Tender” (Omega Applier)

Nailpolish: Nailed It! – “Polka Dots Set” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses: Foxcity

Set:

Backdrop: *~*HopScotch*~* – “Backdrop 50’s Diner”

Popcorn: [Noxturnal] – “Vintage Popcorn Machine- Classic”

Counter & Sweets: Bee Designs – “Retro Ice Cream Counter Blue” (little color modified to suit the rest of the set)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin