Demons in my Mind…

TUNES

Tell you all the things that are tearing me apart
Tell you every little thing thats been bleeding out my heart
Nothing that I say can make you change your mind so doesnt matter
What I do it doesnt matter where I start
Yeah ive been feeling down
No ones been around
My mind is foggy
I can’t tell you what is left or right
No matter what i say you always find a fucking way to twirl it
Demons in my mind they never listen

[plxntkid]

The nice part of having holidays is you have more time to fool around with things you always wanted to learn before. For me that is watching a lot of new tutorials for Photoshop and trying if I can use what I learned in my own ways on my pictures. Even if it takes a lot longer to try new skills and techniques, it is a lot of fun, too.

Today I wanted to do something editorial and I wanted to involve the incredible amazing designs of Zibska. When I put on the “Ruina” collar and makeup, I instantly knew, that I do not want too much things in the background that would distract from the design itself. The collar has 2 orbits with  with fishies and hooks which I am not wearing for my todays picture as it added too much cuteness for my idea*giggles* While I was standing in my black spot and fooling around with lights I realized how cool the “Ruina” collar does reflect the lights and I just rezzed one, pulled it super huge trying t see what it would look like… like you can see on the pictures, I loved the idea :p I even stretched it a little more, rezzed another one, shoved them around and finally played with the color HUD. That again proves, that Zib Scaggs is truly an artist, you even can use her creations totally out of purpose and still they add an artful touch to your picture 😉 For a matching expression to that powerful picture, I again used my Axis HUD from LeLutka. I already wrote about that (HERE), but I just cannot tell it often enough, that it does open a complete new world for me for pictures with some kind of mood or emotions 😉

Clothing

Pants: Decoy – “Apple Shorts” (Maitreya)

Shoes: **UTOPIA@Design** – “Kora” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Rings: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Morphine Rings” (Maitreya, Bento)

Claws: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Obsess Claws” (Maitreya, Bento)

Shoulderpiece: Zibska – “Ruina” – NEW @ Driftwood August 2019 – NEW @ Driftwood August 2019

Collar: [CX] – “Hells Harbinger (Black Out+Silver)” (Maitreya)

Lower Armparts: [CX] – “Lance Bracers Femme – Black” (Maitreya)

Mask: L’Emporio – “Cat Skull – 03 Lather Covered”

Arm Straps: L’Emporio – “Harness Arm” (Maitreya)

Pasties: .ARISE. – “Spiked Pasties / Black_Silver” (Maitreya)

Chains: -SECRETS- – “Danita Nipple Chain – Silver” (Maitreya)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: KoKoLoResS – “Oakes”

Makeup: Zibska – “Ruina” (LeLutka Applier) – NEW @ Driftwood August 2019

Lipstick: alaskametro<3 – “London” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Tattoo: [White~Widow] – “Lost River” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses: Poseidon

Background Structures: Zibska – “Ruina” – NEW @ Driftwood August 2019 (rezzed and resized)

Model  & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

From little Seeds great Flowers grow…

“She limped, unaided around the house, like a bird with its wing broken. Tame, because it couldn’t fly away. All her time was taken up with managing herself, working out new ways to do things. Being a different person in the world.”
[ Joan London, The Golden Age ]

I guess I never had  more opposite posts back to back  than the last and today’s… maybe thats because my life at the moment is a little bit upside down and huge changes are about to come. I do have mixed feelings about it, as I did not really plan those, but sometimes you just get forced to make changes and you have to adapt the situation and make the best out of it for yourself.

But then, like I wrote yesterday… I always wanted the freedom to do what ever I want on my personal blog and so I hope you all don’t mind a black/silver against white/gold contrast 😉

It was always something I thought a lot about. When I started modeling, we were taught, that we should find our personal style. Back then it was like either you are a casual person, a formal one, am avant garde one or one of those kind of styles that we all know. I never felt ‘home’ in one style genre only and so I started to call my personal style weird or crazy to at least have category if I was asked about. I do not know where all that comes from, but it is not only happening in Second Life. In real life I am a musician, but as well a teacher and I do give private lessons for instruments and songwriting and I do work for a record studio playing the bass sometimes, too. I never had the desire to have a nine-to-five job, more than that I even was scared about the thought to have to do the same every day in a certain time frame. Certainly it would be easier and you could plan your free-time better, but I guess I would miss something just having one job.

It isn’t the first time that a chapter of the book of my life closes (sometimes I had to close them my self, too) and so I know if one closes another one will open. Just the time until that happens is sometimes a bit scary, as you never know what it will be. Usually those kind of “in-between” times only happen if you didn’t close the chapter yourself. Mostly they do happen, if you didn’t plan any changes and all of a sudden for no reason others decide to screw you over with lies and gossips that aren’t even true. First I tried to fight against that, but if you have 4 people gained up against you they can pretty much tell everything and being their own witnesses for their lies. First it dragged me down a lot and I was trying to find a way how I still could prove the truth, but the longer it did happen, the more I came to the point that it would be senseless. So I had to change my tactics and just make my peace with it and find new ways for myself. It would have been an unnecessary waste of power and time to keep on fighting in the end.

So I am looking forward to what will come. Things have come up to my mind already and now just need to grow and being developed more. That already feels much better than the time of uncertainty, where you have no clue what you are going to. Maybe that’s why I found parts of my creativity back, too and have fun taking pictures again even if they are a little bit weird *winks*

For now I will be on holidays and try to get some rest from all the past half a year crap. I know things will move on, as they always have and every time it happened, there was something new for  me that I really enjoyed. Even if that sounds old and lame sometimes and in the middle of frustrating and depressing times you neither want to hear or see it – Life has so much to give and there always will be ways to find new perspectives. Recently I found a quote, first I read it was from Sigmund Freud, but when I looked it up, there wasn’t any prove for that and no one really knows where it came from, but it does fit so perfectly for now and I like it a lot. I even thought, if I should put it on a sign and place it at my desktop somewhere, so I can look at it if I get bad feelings about the whole situation again. Maybe it makes a great closing sentence for today’s post *grins*

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

Clothing

Dress: CURELESS[+] – “Pygmalion’s Bride / M / Galatea Bridal Gown” (Maitreya, Gacha, Rare)

Gloves: CURELESS[+] – “Pygmalion’s Bride / M / Galatea Gloves” (Maitreya, Gacha, Rare)

Accessories

Collar: .Charm. – “Skai Collar” (Store closed)

Piercing: [CX] – “Bitten 2017”

Hair & Makeup

Hair: no.match – “No.Arrest”

Eyeshadow 1: Nanika – “Gold Eyeshadow” (LeLutka Applier)

Eyeshadow 2: Zibska – “Lennie” (LeLutka Applier)

Face Art: Nanika – “Serena Gold” (Omega Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Legs: CURELESS[+] – “Pygmalion’s Bride / M / Galatea Legs / MARBLE” (Maitreya, Gacha, Common)

Ears: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Thauron Ears”

Eyes: .ARISE. – “Blind Eyes / Gold”

Skin: *YS&YS* – “Immortal Skin Applier” (LeLutka & Maitreya Applier)

Tattoo: Nanika – “Gold Sequins Mesh Body Applier” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses: Poseidon

Set:

E.V.E Studio – “WHISPER Petals {Gold}”  (Gacha, Rare)

E.V.E Studio – “Apple Flower M01”

E.V.E Studio – “Apple Flower M02”

E.V.E Studio – “Golden Apple”

E.V.E Studio – “Flowers of the Golden Apple”

E.V.E Studio – “Petals Path A {Gold}”

E.V.E Studio – “Petals Path B {Gold}”

E.V.E Studio – “Dancing Petals Dystopia in Bronze/Gold”

Air – “Road sign type A stand_gold_CM”

Air – “Road sign type C_gold_CM”

Air – “Road sign type D_gold_CM”

Air – “Road sign type E_gold_CM”

Air – “Lost Bravery stand(gold)_CM”

Air – “Lost Brain stand(gold)_CM”

DISORDERLY. – “Enchanted Extras / Beast’s Library Papers”

Raindale – “Elnaril floor candle holder (light gold)”

{anc} – “mannequin. MermaidPrincess(Adult)” (Gacha, Rare)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

The Dark Nun – My Journey of Blogging

It is still sunny and hot outside but I already desire the dark months again… maybe exactly because of that. I hate hot weather and I never was a huge friend of the sun.

Recently I watched the movie “The Nun” again. I do love mystic, horror movies a lot and the 2 Conjuring movies with the spin-offs of Anabelle and The Nun are just a must if you love that kind of genre 😉

So I guess The Nun was my inspiration for this when I saw the “Lost Saints ” gacha from ANTINATURAL[+] the first time. Like usual it took me a while before I found all my components and parts for my pictures, but I got used to that. I have a huge respect for those who get something at the release day and instantly have a cool idea what they could do with it for their pictures. I am not talking about the usual blogger pictures that are just showcasing the outfits (nothing wrong with them), but about those who make pictures that kinda tell stories or being made in an artistic way.

I remember times when I just blogged for blogging purposes like reviews, showcasing items, putting a simple stylecard and doing promotion for designers. Like I said before there is nothing wrong with that, but after 10 years of blogging I had to find something different for me as blogging started to feel like a duty only and the fun started to vanish. I started originally with one picture and a style card and never had more than one or two sentences to it. Back then it was cool as I could kinda pump out up to 7 posts per day. Back then we didn’t have any kind of windlight, shadows or meshes, so it was way more easy to shoot pictures and post process them lightly. Usually the only thing I did was to put me in front of a colored background, have more than one view of myself or closeups in the picture and in the end I added a shadow to give it at least some depth (EXAMPLE). Back then I felt really cool with doing that, as it did it’s purpose to showcase designers work as best as I could. Those damn shadows and the desire to have myself more than once on my pictures or have some closeups were the reason why I started to learn Photoshop back then *giggles*

Over the time I tried various things to develop my picture skills and to find new ways how I could showcase designers work properly. I tried simple backgrounds, busy ones and I tried the green-screening and having completely different backgrounds that did not came from Second Life. The last one I did not try for too long as it did not look right for me and I really wanted to keep my pictures taken in SL. I never had the desire to merge SL snapshots into RL pictures or backgrounds and so I gave up on that trend relatively quick. While I started with square pictures (512×512) I figured out fast, that other rations can look way more interesting and attractive. After experimenting quite a while with sizes and formats, I found out that I do love 4:3 (3:4 as well) ratio the most.

Back in 2009, blogging wasn’t as popular as it is today and as a model we were told we should do pictures of have a blog to showcase our styling skills away from the runway shows and vendor shots where the designers kinda put their own visions on us. It was a way to interpret clothing different than the designer initially did, but still it was a way to promote the designs and show that they could have different ways of styles and could attract different groups of people. I had the most fun to fool around with gowns, away from being just beautiful and pretty *grins*

First I was told if I keep on doing such things, like wearing gowns with shaved hair and piercings,  pull simple casual outfits to something wicked and dark with accessories and the location/set I was using, mix and match different outfits together or even use accessories away from their original purpose, I would damage my reputation and no one ever would give me things to blog anymore. I was new into the business back then and a little scared that those who already worked in the fashion industry would be right. So I calmed down again and went on with mainstream pictures again. Then something really funny happened. Designers, fellow models and some other people IMed me asking me why I would go back to those “boring” styles again. That was a wakeup call for me. Even if my ideas were unconventional and different, there were some people who enjoyed that as much as I do. I screwed the thought and the anxiety about my weird ideas and went back to what I really enjoyed. But I always made sure to not distort designers work with too weird poses and later on, when we got windlight, shadows and lights, to not change the color of an outfit or have things too dark so you could not anymore see them. I wanted to have more than one picture, so that I could tell a little story with them. To the same time it would give me the possibility to again focus on details in different pictures. I made the decision to put more pictures on my blog post and have one reference picture (mostly the one I loved the most) displayed on Flickr.  That all kept my pictures weird for my styles but in general relatively simple, as they looked flat without any emotion and depth. For quite a while that was ok for me and I enjoyed, that I could live my craziness of styles and got new sponsors now and then (EXAMPLE).

Again I came across a point where I had the desire to change something as I wanted to have more emotions and feelings in my pictures. When we got windlight, shadows and lights, I found out that you can create cool, dramatic shots with a strong light and shadow combination and a powerful windlight. But there was the other side of the coin… with deep shadows some details started to vanish and first I had the feeling I  should not do that as it does hide designers work too much. The more I tried, the less I could resist to all those new features and I that seriously put me on the horns of a dilemma. I wanted to do more artistic pictures that have more content than just the clothing that I was wearing, but how I could do that if I loose details to the dark. When bento came to Second Life it was even worse, as pose creators started to make more crazy poses and with my 4:3 ratio pictures I didn’t want to use standing poses only anymore where I had more background than avatar on the picture. I had so many awesome sponsors (if I now look back, it were too many) and I wanted to satisfy them all. I wasn’t able to have a combination of blog pictures and personal pictures done, as I had so many deadlines and outfits that I had to blog. There was a point where everything became too much and blogging or making pictures became a burden and nearly all the fun had vanished. I had to make a decision – either I go on like usual and loose all my interest in blogging, Second Life and everything I loved, or I have to change something drastically and revamp my blog.

It wasn’t an easy decision as I had the feeling I do have to let my sponsors go, when I cannot satisfy them anymore. I left a few and as well explained to them why I had to. A handful of my sponsors really surprised me, when they told me they would still like to keep me and see where my journey would go to – I never ever expected that!

I took a few weeks off and started to reconsider my blog and pictures. During that time I watched a lot of Photoshop tutorials and learned a lot of new techniques about photo editing. When I came back I was full of energy and started to play with lights, projectors and shadows and experimented with all the new things I learned in Photoshop. It was a complete new freedom and feeling and I found all the fun back, that I missed so much. I am a very self-critical person and so even if the fun was back I felt there was missing something, as many times the pictures looked ok but not “cool”. That was when Silly told me about VISONAIRE. First I thought, why I should take a course if I can have all the tutorials and information on the Internet as well? But the more I thought about the more I did remember, how much I loved attending classes and workshops in my life. So I signed up and I have to tell you, I do not regret any second! (If you want to know more about my VISIONAIRE experience you can look HERE) It was a completely different experience and it did teach me a lot about things that I never thought of and just did because I felt it looks nice. What was again a huge surprise, with my new way of pictures (I did not dare to apply as a blogger at too many places anymore) I got requested as a blogger or even got flickr mails where designers or blogger managers invited me to join their blogger team. That certainly was the most awesome thing that could happen – I do what I enjoy and others do enjoy my new way of blogging too!

I am sure, there will be times, when the desire of changes will come up again, but for now I really do enjoy blogging and taking pictures again 🙂

Clothing

Outfit: ANTINATURAL[+] – “Lost Saints / Unsainted Nun / Mini” (Gacha, Rare)

Veil: ANTINATURAL[+] – “Lost Saints / Unsainted Nun / Veil” (Gacha, Rare)

Shoes: ANTINATURAL[+] – “Lost Saints / Leather Boots” (Gacha, Rare)

Accessories

Wrist Armor: ANTINATURAL[+] – “Lost Saints / Gold Gauntlets” (Gacha, Rare)

Tounge Piercings: LeLutka – “BDYART-TBRBL” (Bento)

Headpiece: ANTINATURAL[+] – “Lost Saints / Sacred Silence / Gold” (Gacha, Common)

Horns: ANTINATURAL[+] – “Lost Saints / Gilded Horns / Gold” (Gacha, Common)

Rings: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Tunderstrike Rings” (Maitreya, Bento)

Nails: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Obsess Claws” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: Entwined – “Jana”

Eyemakeup: CURELESS[+] – “Undereye Lines & Eyeliner” (Omega Applier)

Forehead: CURELESS[+] – “Onibi Markings” (Omega Applier)

Wounds: .{PSYCHO:Byts}. – “Badass Fighter” (Omega Applier)

Lips: LeLutka – “Beast Applier” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Korina 3.3” (Bento)

Teeth: LeLutka – “Beast Teeth 1.1” (Bento)

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1” (Bento)

Skin: *YS&YS* – “Immortal Skin” (LeLutka & Maitreya Applier)

Eyes: ANATOMY – “Reflect Eyes – Albino”

Ears: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Gormory Ears”

Poses & Props

Poses: Poseidon – “Evil Nurse”, “Puppeteer”, “Hil Nurse” & “Morgue”

Background: SEMPITERNAL – “[The Forbidden Room]”

Table & Dishes: DRD – “Black Widow Tea Table”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

“Visionaries and dreamers have always been dusted with a little oddity.”

“The key to success is to risk thinking unconventional thoughts. Convention is the enemy of progress.”

[Trevor Baylis]

Today probably is the last chance to visit this incredible, awesome sim if you not yet did! Cica Ghost did it again… she amazed me with one of her installations and over exploring her newest built, I again forgot to take pictures and when she said it will only last a few more days, I really had to make something!

I really think that our RL affects our SL, especially in the creative department. I was kinda paralyzed the past few weeks. I never ever had experienced mobbing at one of my working places before and now, being over 40 I have to learn about that. I still have no clue what the motivation for those people can be, but to me it is just a senseless power game for no reason. Probably just because they can and they are bored in their own little life. A mixture of disappointment, anxiety and anger did really throw me out of place because of that and I had a hard time to be creative while all this bullshit was going on. Now that I do have holidays and started to sort myself again, some creativity seems to come back even if it is weird. Yesterday I already had those weird thoughts about that poor little octopus and today I had the strange vision about taking my goldfish out for a walk. Certain the “Dogwood by Cica Ghost” did parts of that too as I loved the idea, IF iI should take out goldfishes for a walk it does have to be in a super dry and dusted environment to make it even more surreal :p

Both of my quotes, the title and the one below the first picture are from Trevor Baylis. I recently discovered him and I do have to admit, many of his quotes hit right into my soul. He was an English inventor best known for the wind-up radio (LINK). With thinking a lot about myself and the world in general the past weeks, I read a lot of biographies and just let my mind flow over the world wide web finding some really interesting people that I never had heard of before. Reading some of their statements about certain things, really changed my personal visions and thoughts a little. Most of them were not actual celebrities but older ones or some that lived in past centuries, but still their visions do apply to the present tense. I feel weird saying it did help me but some of their thoughts really made me think about myself again and I was able to step out of that weird mood that RL and my work situation had put me in.

Clothing

Dress & Headpiece: Fellini Couture – “Yuko” (Maitreya)

Panty: Scandalize – “Nicole” (Maitreya)

Jacket: [Azuchi] – “Amber Jacket Black” (Maitreya)

Shoes: EQUAL – “Nixie Platforms” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Leg Bands: Gemini – “Sis Leg Bangles” (Maitreya)

Collar: CODEX – “Perception” (Maitreya)

Glasses: HAYSURIZA – “Eyewear Lawyer”

Rings: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Thunderstrike” (Maitreya, Bento)

Nails: FORMANAILS – “Wedding” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: .shi – “Kuwn”

Makeup: Look At Me – “Submissibe Eyeshadows” (Omega Applier)

Lipstick: Izzie’s – “Spring Colors Lipgloss” (LeLutka Applier)

Hairbase: Mina Hair – “”Myla” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Ears: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Akasuna”

Tattoo (Leg): Redfish – “Masa” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses: Poseidon

Fish Props: *[BB] – “The Friendly Fish Companion Set 04” (Gacha)

Location

Dogwood by Cica Ghost

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Sirens – The Dark Side of the Mermaid Family

Ok, if someone would have told me, that I would do a mermaid post… I would have broken down laughing. I always faced mermaids as the sweet and cute pink, purple or pastel colored girly sweethearts… until I came across a TV show called Sirens last year. I read about the dark side in some mermaid stories but I never saw them so dark before that show. I love the events from Flair for Events and when this year the sign up for the Mermaid Cove came out, I could not resist to apply as a designer, thinking we could do something that works for those dark sirens.

We did –  we made the “Amatheia” claws. A combination of bracelet and claws, connected by chains and decorated with some shells. When we set up our booth, I saw the super awesome cool release from The White Crow right beside us. It must have been fate, that we were assigned right beside each other, both enjoying the darker side of the theme :p

-[TWC]- made those amazing tentacles, which come out of your nose and mouth together with a cool matching makeup/lips combo. I so loved the “Sea Witch” I had to make a dark and scary siren using  that one 🙂

There were so many other cool items, so the look came together really fast. Arise made those neat face scales in 3 different styles and the super cool “Sea Ghoul Eyes” with a matching makeup were made by BLAXIUM. I realized, that I discovered BLAXIUM for me lately as they to kick ass cool designs and piercings, that are not mainstream focused only.

First I tried to set up an underwater scene but, since SL water doesn’t really do much from below the water surface, I decided to go for a little dark cave, only lighted by a few moon beams, that come through the ceiling of it. When I had placed my siren on the awesome rocks (I really love their materials!) with the cool poses, that WetCat released at the Mermaid Cove event, I missed something in the back. Just open sea looked kinda boring and I decided to put a ship, that hit a rock because of the siren singing in front of the cave aka into my back.

To get a feeling of a rough sea, I had to cheat in Photoshop as I could not find waves and foam in SL that did what I wanted it to do. With most of the stuff I found, I ended up with weird pixelated white “something” in my back.

First I thought I do have to wear any kind of clothing to cover my chest, but the combination of the “Sandra” hair from MINA and the “Body Scales” from Cynefin did hide everything needed.

I had so much fun doing those pictures… I can’t promise that I won’t come up with another dark mermaid look and pictures in the future 😉

Accessories

Horns: [Eternus] – “Kirin Horns” NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Collar: .Quirky. – “Scales Collar” NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Hand Tentacles: .Drastic. – “Tentacle Jewelry” (Maitreya)

Handaccessoriess with Claws: Wicca’s Originals – “Amatheia Claws” (Maitreya, Bento) NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Face Tentacles: -[TWC]- – “Sea Witch / Dark Green” NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Bellypiercing: PUNCH – “Navel Piercing / Diamond Pearl” (Maitreya) NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Hair & Makeup

Hair: MINA Hair – “Sandra”

Facetattoo 1: -[TWC]- – “Sea Witch Ink -Full-” (Omega Applier) NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Facetattoo 2: ARISE – “Face Scales Style 2” (Omega Applier) NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Eyes & Eyeshadow: BLAXIUM – “Sea Ghoul Eyes” NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Skin: Lumae – “Eirtae – Storm” (LeLutka/Maitreya Applier)

Body Scales: ~Cynefin ~ – “Body Scales (Shades)” (Maitreya Applier)

 Tail: ~ Cynefin ~ – “Lorelei Bento Mermaid Tail (Shades)” (Maitreya, Bento)

Poses & Props

Poses: ::WetCat:: “‘Part Of Your World’ Mermaid Prop” (Bento, arms lightly edited with anypose) NEW @ Mermaid Cove

Rocks: [FOURTH WALL] – “Mossy Rocks Pack”

Ship: MUSHILU – “JonJamesV – Caravel”

Skull taken of the La Catrina pose set from Poseidon

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

I’m lost in a dream…

I’m lost in a dream, with a mind’s full of sadness,
I remember the good times, that we had in our madness,
Frozen tears with illusions of fire,
All of my life was filled with desire

[Axel Rudi Pell]

Sometimes you sit there, staring at your inventory and have no idea what you can do. You put on various outfits, dresses, pants, tops and nothing screams “Yes.. it’s me! Do something with me!” I am not saying, that all the stuff would be ugly or not nice… it all looks perfect and it is made amazingly, but just nothing touches you, nothing catches your eyes or heart.
There are moments in life where just nothing can grab your attention or drag your brain off some things that happen in your life. For me it was a RL situation, that really had tied up my brain and mind/mood completely. If you love your job and you put everything you have and can into it, if you even started a project and work on that for years and suddenly someone comes and tries to steal that from you and even get you kicked out from it, it really can go very deep and it does hurt like if someone rips out a part of yourself, throws it on the ground and tramples on it like crazy with a big grin in her/his face.

In exactly that mood I was nearly the whole past week and that was when this style grew over days, not knowing what I want to do. It did look like a bunch of things not belonging to each other on the first view for me, until I told my self to let it flow and see where it would be going. First I thought of a kind of fairy or “Galadriel” looking pictures in a fantasy environment. But while I was trying like an idiot I came across the amazing pictures of Alles Klaar (HERE). She has a lot of water based pictures, like her and her friends posing on water, having those amazing reflections. That reminded me of the never ending story if we could have real mirrors in Second Life (LINK). I did not want to download anything and I tried to remember how you could cheat on that fact with using mirror water (MIRROR WATER).

I do have no water available at my home at the moment, so I am very grateful, that – after a talk explaining my issue – Tour gave me the opportunity to use his sim for my experiments. While I was trying to fool with that water mirror effect, I realized, it isn’t what I wanted or my skills are not good enough to do what I had imagined. It was the first time, that I wasn’t alone while I tried to set up a scene. Tour was with me and we even had a voice conversation for some time while I was trying to find what I wanted to do. What really was fun, he as well did some snaps and we shared our visions about my project. That was quite interesting! I always thought I never could have somebody with me while doing this, but it even did inspire me somehow 🙂 Thank you Tour for your generosity to let me experiment on your land and ruining your terraforming for me, because of my need for water!

The more pictures I shot, the more my vision changed and my mind could let go of my RL situation and I found my fun back in doing weird and crazy things. My feelings and emotions changed from weak, frustrated and depressed to stubborn, stronger and willing to fight my way out of my actual mood. I rarely had so different emotions on my pixel face during a shooting I have to admit, as I usually try to make an indicating series of pictures.

Again Second Life was kind of a therapy to escape from real life, but as well it did help to free my mind again and not being stuck inside a certain situation. I am not saying SecondLife is the best therapy you can find, I am just saying sometimes it helps to allay concerns or get your brain some relief 😉

Believe me, after 12,5 years SL I know, that you need to step away from it sometimes or even shut it down for a while to solve RL problem… I hope you get the idea of what I was trying to say 😉

Since I changed the point of my blog, not only being a fashion catalog, but as well being a part of me and both of my lifes, my pictures do matter for me. After I attended Visionaire classes (I sometimes still do), it as well felt right to do so. I am not saying, fashion only blogs are not cool, I just decided for myself that I wanted to have more than just that after so many years of blogging 🙂

If you are one of those, that actually read the whole post, I would be happy if you would be brave enough to comment on it, or maybe even dare to tell about how or even if your SL does change your RL or any situations sometimes ♥

 

Clothing
Dress: Moon Elixir – “Fenris” (Maitreya
Accessories
Collar: ((LovelyAlien)) – “Amaranthine – Necklace – Silver”
Headpiece: -Elemental- – “Feronica Circlet”
Claws: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Thunderstrike Claws” (Maitreya, Bento)
Rings: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Thunderstrike Rings” (Maitreya, Bento)
Horns: :[P]: – “Kratus Horns”
Bracelets & Anklets: E.V.E – “Scorpion Spikes” (Maitreya)
Armlets: Gemini – “Sis Bracelets” (Maitreya)
Hair & Makeup
Hair: no.match – “No. Gain” – NEW @ Tres Chic
Makeup: Zibska – “Rowan” (LeLutka Applier)
Body & Tattoo
Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”
Eyes: ANATOMY – “Angel Eyes – Silver”
Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”
Skin: YS&YS – “Ginny Zafiro” (LeLutka/Maitreya Applier)
Tattoo (Arms): [White~Widow] –  “Ran” (Maitreya Applier)
Tattoo (Legs): [White~Widow] – “Okja” (Maitreya Applier)
Poses & Props
Poses: Poseidon
Set:
Statue White Girl: E.V.E – “Rapunzel in Evie White Tower”
Statue Steampunk Guy: R.O.T – “”Illusion Light Blue”
Statue Couple: R.O.T – “Soska Metallic”
Brushwood: E.V.E – “Rosina’s Undergowth M01”
Sphere: E.V.E – “Cubic Dreams {White Glow/Black}”
Heart: E.V.E – “Frosted Hearts Silver M1”
Model & Photographer

“Time of my Life!”

Vintage Fair is going on at the moment and even if the oder was “pre 80s” for the theme at the event, I could not resist to do another colorful 80s post with some items and designs I found there. The center of my style this time was the cool “Discordia” top from The Annex. Certainly you can style that top in a 70s style as well, but as you can see 80s works too.

Believe it or not, the Vintage Fair is one of my favorite events in Second Life. I know many of you know I am a friend of weird and dark things, but vintage styles especially the 20s to 50s are times and styles that really touch me somehow. Maybe it is because of the music. I love Swing, Rock ‘n’ Roll and Rockabilly! I do have some more vintage posts prepared, but I wanted to start with that cool top as it caught my attention from the moment I put it on the first time. The top is available in 5 different colors and made for Maitreya.

What perfectly fit the 80s look where the “Star Boots”, made by [Gos]. The certainly come with a color HUD, but that silver colors was so perfect for that look. On the picture above you can see a few more colors, but not all of the them 😉 In total you get 15 colors for the main boot, 5 for the lining, 2 for the heel, tread and laces and 3 different metals. For the heel, if you want it the same color as the shoes, you simply can chose the main boot color as that includes the heel, too.

Another cool thing I wanted to talk about is the LeLutka Axis HUD. I know, it is around for a while, but I still get asked how I do my facial expressions apart from the ready made ones you can buy for the LeLutka heads. The HUD is not limited to LeLutka only. You can animate other brands heads as well. I tried it myself with LAQ and Logo and I was asking a friend, that uses Catwa and she said it works too. The only tricky part is expressions with the tongue involved as those seem to react a little different. Other than that, the Axis HUD worked on the other heads just fine for me (You always can try the demo). If you want the full information, you always can look at the LeLutka website (http://lelutka.com/blog/axis-hud/)

That HUD opened a new world of close up pictures for me – not only close ups but there you can see the most impact certainly, if you have the face in your focus. With the Axis HUD you can either create a fully new expression OR you can alter expressions that you already have for your head. Since my English is not the best I would like to quote something from the website that explains the most important infos of the HUD:

“Most of what you need to know about getting started can be found on the info pages which show on HUD itself when you first wear it. You can return to those info pages at any time you like by clicking the “i” button on the top of your HUD.

You can click and drag on the point grids to rotate each facial bone on one, two or three axis, depending on the bone. Three axis bones such as the lip bones have an extra row underneath the main point grid which you can use to rotate the bone on the third axis. There are also larger circles at the edges of the brows and lips which allow you to move several bones together. Once you have the expression just how you like it, you can save your animation set into a savorite at the bottom of the HUD if you want to recall it later.

You can also target up to three other avatars and individually set up unique facial animations for group photos or just a bit of fun.”

I tried the HUD not only o myself, but as well with my partner and me no a picture and it worked perfectly.I was wearing the “Simone” head while he was wearing a Catwa one and it worked without any issues (https://www.flickr.com/photos/wiccamerlin/45078595804/in/dateposted-public/)

I was able to create way more moods and expressions, what really raised the bar for my pictures in my view. I am able to even more expressing emotions or having fun moments that without that HUD!

Last but not least – yes that again is a longer post, but there was so many details that should not be overlooked 🙂 – I would like to draw your attention to my hairstyle. It was made by no.match and is called “No.Stress”. You can find it at the actual round of eBENTO. Usually I prefer blond, because of my no eyebrow trademark. But today, for my 80s look I felt I should have some more colored hair, that as well is one of the reasons for me wearing eyebrows today 😉 For me it was the first time, that I touched the ‘unicorn’ color HUD from no.match – after seeing it I know it will not be the last time :p

I hope you enjoyed my little 80s trip as much as I did, tomorrow we will go back a little more in time I guess 😉

Clothing

Top: The Annex – “Discordia Top – Red” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Vintage Fair

Shorts: adorsy – “Sharon Jeans Shorts” (Maitreya)

Shoes: [Gos] – “Star Boots” (Maitreya)

Gloves: L’Emporio – “Fingerless Gloves” (Maitreya, Bento)

Stockings: {Luxuria} – “Spring Summer 19 Knee Heighs” (Maitreya Applier)

Legs: [ SAKIDE ] – “Yleria” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Headphones: BONDI – “The Retro Headphones” – NEW @ Vintage Fair

Collar: -[ darkling ]- – “Angelique Collar” (Maitreya)

Upper Arms: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Pyper 69 Upper Arms”

Piercing 1: BLAXIUM – “Dangerous” (LeLutka Simone, Bento)

Piercing 2: BLAXIUM – “Jaiden Chain Piercing”

Nails: BLAXIUM – “Mikah Nails” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair &  Makeup

Eyebrows: Izzie’s – “Vintage Summer Brows” (LeLutka Applier)

Hair: no.match – “No.Stress”

Eyeshadow: ALMA – “Alba” (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: alaskametro<3 – “New Wave” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Tattoo: ((Mister Razzor)) – “Betina Tattoo – 75%” (Omega Applier) – NEW @ Vintage Fair

Poses & Props

Poses: Poseidon – “Hip Hop” & “Idols”

Set:

Backdrop: Foxcity – “Photo Booth – Neon Storm”

Couch: Foxcity – “Tasty AF (2) Diner Sofa” (Gacha)

Speakers: Daffy’s Gadgetmania Club Equipment and Structure Designs – “-[GFX- 800]- Mesh Advanced Speakers”

Clock: Visual Magick – “Retro Neon Clock – Bepis Cola”- NEW @ Vintage Fair

Sign: Saintstreet – “Neon Lady Symbol” (Gacha)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Hoverboarding

CyberPunk Fair is over – Sadly!

But I am not yet done with my cyber moods *giggles*. The event had so many awesome new designs and creations, I just cannot stop yet to play with what I got.

Today I had mega fun with the “Samurai Hoverboard” from UNGOD and the matching pose set from Poseidon. Gryphon Vendetta, owner and designer of both brands, included a  more simple looking board in the pose set but I loved the hover board and the katana so much from the UNGOD set that I had to cheat them in 😉

Again I have to say, how much I love Poseidon Poses. They are so full of energy and so well thought through, it really inspires a lot of you have such poses for pictures – they are really poses for special purposes!

And again I am happy to show you another side of the “Simone” head from LeLutka. I do not know how to say, but the “Simone” head, is one of the most versatile ones. I know that some call it edgy and not as smooth as other ones, but maybe that is exactly what I do love. Every skin gives you different looks and with using the editing sliders, you even can force that more. This time I wanted a cyberpunk look and with the blue skin and some modification tattoos it really got a light machine character. The lips do have an amazing shape. I am not a friend of too full lips for my look and with thinner lips most heads do look angry – but not “Simone”!

With the cool face mods from  -[TWC]- and the crone ,paired with some cool cyber looking eyes from CURELESS [+], the whole look really became freaking cool. The smart “EmoTech Lens 1” from Astara, is a sweet little thing too. You can decide with a HUD, what kind of smiley face you want to show on your lens, as well you can choose your color. The cool neko headpiece was made by the one and only Deccan Arida from [The Forge] and it certainly could not be missed for my cyberpunk style today 🙂

What caught my attention as well were the lipsticks from nox. They do give the lips that awesome plastic look and oyu have many colored to choose from.

After all I do hope Flair for Events will make the CyberPunk Fair an annual event as I really miss this kind of things and it was like heaven to find so many in one place 🙂

Clothing

Outfit: :::insanya::: – “Azura Bodysuit Cyber” (Maitreya)

Gloves: [Cubic Cherry] – “{Ekion} Arm Augments” (Maitreya)

Garter: .:Avanti:. – “Mina Garter” (Maitreya)

Socks: *katat0nik* – Boot Socks (dark)

Shoes: L’Emporio – “Cryptor” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Glasses: Astara – “EmoTech Lens 1”

Right Upper Leg: [V-Tech] – “Forbidden Experiment” (Maitreya)

Cables: .Inkhole. – “USB Set” (Maitreya)

Collar: A&Y – “Lorna Collar – Dark – 01” (Maitreya, Gacha)

Headpiece: [The Forge] – “Cyber Neko Headphones”

Face/Nose: -[TWC]- – “Hazard Tube black sick”

Hair & Makeup

Hair: KMH – “CP001 Rigged (Size S)”

Lipstick: NOX. – “Incomplete Lip” (Omega Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Skin: YS&YS – “Pris Elf Skin” (LeLutka & Maitreya Applier)

Eyes: CURELESS[+] – “Spookshow Eyes”

Tattoo: the crone – “Flesh Shell” (LeLutka & Maitreya Applier)

Facetattoo: -[TWC]- – “Hazard – full blk” (Omega Applier)

Poses & Props

Hoverboard: UNGOD – “Samurai Hoverboard Shinto”

Weapons: UNGOD – “Mirror’s Edge (blue)”

Poses (incl. Katana and Board): Poseidon – “Samurai Hoverboard” (Bento)

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Cyber Games

I immensely enjoy the CyberPunk Fair 🙂 Sadly today is the last chance for this amazing event 🙁

There are so many amazing creations and designs, that it is really hard to choose, with what you wanna start making pictures. Today I decided to go with the awesome “Tiera” hair from EMO-tions, the cool “Cyberdeck” from UNGOD and one of the latest releases from A&Y, the “Aeon Cyber Top” paired with the “Aeon Cyber Corset”.
I was experimenting so much with teal and orange lately with all the great cyber items, so today I wanted to have another color palette – Purple and Blue was the choice of the day 🙂

When I was done styling, I faced the same problem like always… find the perfect location for the pictures. First I went to Cocoon, a new and super awesome cyber sim, but I quickly realized I need something different. Then I suddenly remembered, that there was a mega cool gacha at the CyberPunk Fair, that as well was based on purple colors. The K&S “Neon Night Mood” The whole set is made with such amazing love for the details – even the shadows! You can use the set as a full one, but as well the single parts of it and it doesn’t matter if you miss a piece it still looks amazing.

For todays poses I went with the “Akali” set from Poseidon and one special pose, which was made for the advert of the “Cyberdeck”- Gryphon Vedetta, owner and designer of Poseidon and UNGOD was so kind to give it to me 🙂 Even if the poses were not made for the “Cyberdeck” they just were perfectly matching for my pictures 😉

The head I am wearing today, again the the “Simone” head from LeLutka. As I told you before, I will try to show the different heads with all kind of different skins, to show how versatile they are and how different they can look. With the “Kialaya” skin from Lumae, “Simone” gets a way younger look than the one I use to have. You can see as well how different nose and mouth do look with different skins 😉 So you can customize your face not only with the sliders, but with a certain skin too.

Clothing

Jacket: A&Y – “Aeon Cyber Top” (Maitreya)

Top: A&Y – “Aeon Cyber Corset” (Maitreya)

Panties: A&Y “Siren Cyber Panties” (Maitreya)

Shoes: Wicca’s Originals – “Michonne” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Headset: {Psycho:Byts} – “N.i.x – N.i.g.t.h Headset Black” (Gacha) – NEW @ CyberPunk Fair // May 2019

Nails & Rings: [CX] – “Shredder Claws” (Maitreya)

Cyberdeck: UNGOD – “Cyberdeck Grunge Blue” – NEW @ CyberPunk Fair // May 2019

Hair & Makeup

Hair: EMO-tions – “Tiera” – NEW @ CyberPunk Fair // May 2019

Lipstick: NOX. – “Incomplete Lip” (Omega Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Skin: Lumae Fantasy – “Kialaya Tone” (LeLutka & Maitreya Applier)

Poses & Props

Poses: Poseidon – “Akali Set” (Bento)

Set: K&S – “// Night Neon Mood //” (Gacha) – NEW @ CyberPunk Fair // May 2019

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Angels

I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we’re grey and old
‘Cause I have been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I’m lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel the love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

[Robbie Williams]

Clothing

Body: E.V.E – “Noctiluca Stars Suit Glitter” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Wings: E.V.E – “Asgard Wings”

Headpiece: E.V.E – “Asgard Wings”

Hair & Makeup

Hair: Opale – “Malin”

Faceart: [White~Widow] – “Belle” (LeLutka Applier)

Makeup: Zibska – “Rowan” (LeLutka Applier)

Poses & Props

Pose: Poseidon

Set: E.V.E – “Scatha Dragon”, “Dancing Stars Galaxy” & “Dancing Stars Ring”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin