Sometimes it is worth to think before you speak…

I thought a long time, if I can do a post with pictures like that without getting a shit storm started… but the idea I had for that post or better, what brought me to do pictures like that had a very special reason. I thought for along time to talk about bullying or psychological violence. These kinds of hurts may not leave a mark on someone that can be seen, but that doesn’t mean it would not hurt exactly like those – sometimes even more than if you would get a punch in your side. Physical wounds usually heal after a while and then you won’t see them anymore, psychological ones sometimes never fully heal and shadow us sometimes till the end.

My Grandpa once told me something when I was younger. I was sitting beside him when I was taunted at school about not being/looking like the majority of the class. While he was putting an arm around me and tried to solace me, he talked to me. Back then I didn’t understood what he meant, but later when I was a grown up (if I am fully grown up yet? I have no idea…), I slowly started to realize what he meant. He said “You are the one that chooses, who can hurt you.  You are the one to allow people to hurt you. So always think about it seriously, if it is worth to allow someone to hurt you!” First when I heard that from him, I thought he just is old and has no clue what he is talking about. I forgot about that for quite a while until I was older.

 

I always felt that I am not a great fit to my class mates. I didn’t behave like them, I didn’t look like them and I did not even want to. Most of my class mates are sons and daughters from lawyers, doctors, judges or something in that way. I was a teachers daughter, not dumb, nor stupid. My father died of cancer when I was 7 and my Mom was alone with me and my 3 years younger brother. Thank to the state, my Mom got the state pension from my father as teachers in Germany are employed by the state. We were really lucky as my Mom did know how to work with the money she had. We never missed anything – we went on holidays in summer and winter, we got birthday and Christmas presents and I never heard my Mom saying no if my brother or me wanted some ice cream while we were shopping (only if we already had some or we just had lunch or dinner). I only felt it, when branded clothing became important for some people from my class. For example I had jeans – cool jeans – but they were no Diesel or Lewis jeans. I never cared about that, I am more a simple person. If I like something, I won’t look what brand it is from or look if it would be expensive enough to buy it. Not to mention that I was a Punk back then anyways so jeans had to be modified and ripped anyways before I wanted to wear them. But that exactly seemed to be the issue. First I thought it must be the clothing that did separate me from many of my class mates and why they started to laugh at me – as a child you cannot just walk away and do you own thing… you want to be liked and you want some friends. So I went home and asked my Mom, if I could have some Diesel jeans. Her response first was: “Why, what is wrong with yours?” and when I explained it to her she said: “Sure you can have a pair for your birthday or Christmas, or you can buy them from your pocket money if you have enough, because they are expensive” Certainly I first thought that would be unfair until I was older and realized that it wasn’t just my clothing or what kind of game consoles I had.

I never was a stick-figure Barbie doll like all my class mates – I was the only one that had curves pretty soon, a nice present from the women on my mother side family tree. I did a lot of sports, because I loved it and not because I wanted to loose weight, or because someone told me to do so. I started with Gymnastics when I was 4 (until I was 22), I enjoyed riding from when I was 6 and later on I tried Volleyball and Swimming, too. So I basically was busy the whole week, everyday with some kind of sports and on the weekends there were contests for those. But that did not count either, it just did count that I wasn’t a size zero and that again was enough for some kids to pick on me and making fun out of me. I have to tell you… if that happens, it hurts like mad and that will not heal for quite a while. Especially if you later on meet guys that ask you for a date and then tell you you would be so sweet and nice, but with like 5 to 10 kilos you would be even more nice. All this bulling and hateful hurt doesn’t help teens to build up any kind of self esteem, which is so important to resist these same idiots who try to hurt you.

But that is not what I was trying to talk about, I don’t want your pity, because my life changed over the years and I understood what my Grandpa was trying to tell me. I do have true friends now and I enjoy my life as it is now. But sometimes I really get mad when I see people, groups or even websites, that bash certain people or groups, They think it is fun and never even think about how bad they can hurt other peoples feelings. They think they are right to judge or dictate others. I often ask myself what it would give them to do that… I do not have a real answer besides that their own life must be so miserable that they need to destroy others lifes for their own happiness. If that would not hurt others so bad, I would even feel pity with them and their misery.

How desperate you have to be, if you try to find something to hurt another person with it?!?

Who do you think you are to accuse people with whatever you think you found out that would be worth spreading the word about?!?

What rights you have to destroy other peoples lifes or dreams with a “truth” you just built out of nothing?!?

Why you think you are the one to judge about others peoples looks – because you are so much better?!?

Why you think you are allowed to take a rise out of somebody?!?

NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DO THAT TO ANOTHER PERSON!!!

I know I won’t change the fact, that it happens everyday, everywhere anyways if in Real Life or in Second Life. But if I can just get one person to think about, before they open their mouth about someone or type (even worse) anonymous comments on websites about someone –  I am happy. I am not saying that we can not gossip or talk with our true friends about others and have our own opinions, but there is a difference if you try to hurt someone actively or if you just talk to someone in private and share an opinion. We do not get along with all and everybody, but n the end it should be a “live and let live” type of spirit. Both worlds are big enough for all of us and there is no need to destroy or eliminate someone. PLUS… never forget what you do to others… can be done to you as well if the time comes!

Maybe you now understand my drastic pictures for todays post. They only were meant to make inner pain visible and catch the mood of this post.

So my wish for 2020  – for both worlds – would be:

Sometimes just think before you open your mouth about something or someone. Think about if you would hurt someone irrecoverably and if you only get the glimpse of a “YES”, just keep your mouth shut or delete your comment where ever it was supposed to go!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Clothing

Corset: [CX] – “Immoral Support – Black” (Maitreya)

Panties: [CX] – “Malum Undies (Black)” (Maitreya)

Shoes: [Gos] – “Liliana Stripe Boots – Boutique” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Septum: -[TWC]- – “Gear Septum Silver -CL Blood-“

Collar: [CX] – “Heavy Duty Collar – Rusty Filth (Un-Rigged)”

Sleeves: [CX] – “Lance Bracers Femme – Black” (Maitreya)

Cuffs: Salt & Pepper (S&P) – “Bondage Deluxe Set” (Maitreya)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: .shi – “Gavri’ela /Unisex”

Wounds & Butterfly Aids: -[TWC]- – “Bad Dog -bruises- ” (Omega Applier)

Face: La Malvada Mujer – “Insommnia” (Omega Applier)

Makeup: La Malvada Mujer – “She Said Eyeshadow” (Omega Applier)

Lipstick: alaskametro<3 – “London” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.4”

Ears: [CX] – “Ostium Impaler Ears”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Tattoo: -[TWC]- – “Bad Dog” (Omega Applier)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Foxcity

Backdrop: #Cranked# – “Backdrop Black Padded Cell”

Rat: JIAN – “Rascal Rats 2. Black Companion” (Gacha, Common)

Pose Tool: AnyPose – “BVH Pose Stand”

Face Animation Tool: LeLutka – “Axis HUD Face 1.1”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Wicca’s Wardrobe: LOTD 01/30/2012 – The Day After…

30th of January… 2007 I was born in SL and now we have 2012… 5 years in SL, that’s a long time. I usually tend to forget that date as I did today. I realized it as the clock on my computer turned to 1AM and the date switched*grins*. So, today.. or better yesterday, I spent my SL day with styling and making pictures… like mostly*lol*. I had an argument lately with a few ppl about corsets. Some wanted to tell me corsets are fetish, others told me they are porn and some said corsets are lingerie only. But I disagreed and still do. Corsets came from way in the past before we had all those fancy leather and latex stuff and they were part of awesome medieval gowns for example.

So I took myself to a challenge that I can wear corsets without any touch of all that prejudices and create a modern non avantgarde look. Ok I admit… it turned out in some postapocalyptic again lightly but that might be because of my favour for this kinda pictures *smiles* Maybe if you just put the whole outfit in a different scenery it looks different again, but the big hoodie on the “Anath” jacket of Miamai. The rats that are placed over the shoulder just underlined the feeling of the day after a worldwide catastrophe where you just wake up and try to survive, maybe try to find other people and some food. The white corset comes from NV Corsetry. I discovered this store over 2 of my sissies, Lexie and Lorelei. The introduced me to Khurt Vhargon, owner and designer of NV Corsetry. He makes a very new kind of corsets, fully scripted to resize them in every direction. You can choose if you only wanna make it longer or wider and not just resize the full object… really an innovation for corsets in SL. As well he created so many different styles and different fabrics that you really get in trouble if you visit his store as you have a hard time to choose. The newest addition to that corsets is, that now he can help you fit the corset as well if you cannot do it on your own with a remote control of the script. That means he can operate the script while you are wearing his corsets. I only saw this technique at BAX before for the boots and it will be really helpful, if you are not yet that experienced in SL with fittings and scripts and still wanna wear one of his amazing corsets 🙂

For the pants I chose one of my all time favourites from LeeZu, the “Madison” pants. The earrings and bracelets come from Finesmith and the face tattoo from White Widow, as well favourite stores of mine 🙂 The skin is made by Malicia Python, owner and designer of Silken Moon. She made me this special makeup for the “Rookie” skin, called “Childhater” as I wanted black lips and dark smokey eyes. One example for the great custom makeups you can get from Silken Moon 🙂 As I had to walk through water for that post :p the water swallowed the cool “Pomski” boots from Kookie

I hope I could prove my opinion, that corsets are not only porn, fetish, lingerie or avantgarde… they can be so much more and as well a part of everyday looks if you combine them with jeans and a casual blouse :). *makes a note to herself for a new look*

And so I will bring the box I found, in the water at the beginning of my post,  back home and see what I got…

Details

Jacket: Miamai – “Anath”

Corset: NV Corsetry – “White Underbust”

Pants: LeeZu – “Madison”

Earrings: Finesmith – “Hermosa Espina”

Bracelets: Finesmith – “Buckle Up”

Nails: Mstyle – “Perfect Hand-Short”

Skin: Silken Moon – “Rookie” /childhater (special custom makeup)

Eyeliner: Silken Moon – “Wicca”

Lashes: Detour – “Spider Lashes”

Facetattoo: White Widow – “Trees Black”

Boots: Kookie – “Pomski”

Poses: Del May

Model & Photogrpaher: Wicca Merlin