Dreams or Reality?

I know I’ll never know a peaceful night again
Afraid they’ll hear me
They don’t fear me
Punishment for me of a moral crime
The debt was never paid completely
[Disturbed]

I am sure you know what I mean… those “memories” that never leave us even if their clarity fades and they get kinda blurry?
Those things we do not really want to remember, but we can’t completely forget?
I do have those and from time to time they do knock me out for a while. The older I become, the more those memories become emotions and I do forget the exact moment of my life. Sometimes they do feel like faded or blurred echoes. Sometimes they even feel kinda unreal to me, even if I know, that it happened. Exactly that kind of feelings I wanted to bring on my pictures and to me it worked πŸ™‚
I was trying and thinking about that for a longer time, but I never felt like it came out right.
The poses from Le Poppycock, which I found while I was looking for another pose set, gave me the idea, how I could manage to picture my feelings. To bring emotions on pictures, is always a hard challenge for me as I feel it very difficult to bring those on a static picture. Emotions are very personal and everybody will have different impressions and/or expressions of a certain picture.
To me it was the outfit from Enfant Terible, an innocent, sweet dancer outfit with ballet shoes, the dark vibe of the dark vibe of the Asylum from Ex Machina and the morbid skeleton paired with the amazing poses from Le Poppycock, that made the perfect contrast and as well the controversial and mixed feelings I do have with such moments. I did abstain from strong make up to give the whole look a more pure and fragile look. The lightly messy hair from no.match was perfect for the style as well, it underlined the desperation in some way for me with all the wisps and strands of hair.

The “Welcome Home Asylum” from Ex Machina is an amazing background for pictures. It does have 2 different cells and a hallway in front of it. The backdrop has 4 active light sources – 2 in the cells and 2 in the hallway – which can be turned off or edited through your edit window. The whole backdrop looks best, if you turn advanced lightning on, as all textures are baked and use advanced lightning model materials. But even without that high graphic settings it looks stunning and detailed. I really adore Hatti’s texturing skills… Hatris Panacek, owner and genius designer of Ex Machina, states herself that she was inspired by the horrors of the insane asylums of the past catching those creepy atmospheres you can still find in some abandoned structures around the world. I just wanted to share those non edited peeks on the backdrop, because my pictures are dark and I did not want to miss to show all those lovely details of the backdrop – at least the 2 rooms that I used for this pictures. For the other one I will have another post soon πŸ˜‰

Outfit

Outfit: Enfant Terrible – “Skye Dancer” (Gacha) – NEW @ Epiphany

Makeup & Hair

Hair: no.match – “No.Modify”
Eyeshadow: Zibska – “Noir Pack 06” (LeLutka Applier)
Lipstick: alaskametro<3 – β€œLondon” (LeLutka Applier)
Makeup:

Body & Tattoo

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”
Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”
Ears: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Thauron”

Poses & Props

Poses (incl. Skeleton): Le Poppycock – “Necromantic” (Gacha)
Background: Ex Machina – “Welcome Home Asylum PhotoScene v1.1”

Model & Photographer