Free your Mind and find Yourself!

TUNES

Before her surrender she had no life
Now she’s a slave, not a wife
Her only sorrow is for women who live with lies
She’s taken off her disguise

[Manowar]

I do love the song above and it is basically a song that has a lot of meaning to me and Red and it was just perfect for this pictures and post. In general it is not always easy if you have to hide parts of your life even to close friends just because the ‘society’ doesn’t really appreciate or understand them. I am not only talking about BDSM or D/s, but as well as things like a male loves a male, or a female loves a female, or if you have a job that other won’t understand whatever it would be. As well as if kids do not have any label clothing because they do not have a rich family, but do not want anyone to know about that when they go to school or meet other kids. There is many things that people have to hide in all kind of ways to make it through their life. The older I get the less I do want to hide things. They are a part of me and they do make me to what I am now. Even for being a musician, I often had to say I am teaching music or I do work somewhere else and just do music in my free time or on weekends. Over 20 years ago when I started my music career, music wasn’t something that was considered as a job and I often heard “And when you will learn something proper to pay your bills?”. Sure it wasn’t the life of a millionaire, especially in the beginning I had to do a lot of side jobs to make sure my bills got pair and it wasn’t only fun all the time. The longer I followed my personal decision, the better it became and in the end I was able to prove them all wrong and made my life out of music completely and it feels awesome.

Why other people or the so called ‘society’ do think they are allowed to tell one person, what to do and what not to do as long as they do not violate the law? Since when law should be able to dictate who you love, or even worse what gender you love? Just because certain religions and a lot of old fashioned people think that would be right? At school we teach all of our kids, the gifted ones and the non gifted ones that they can do what ever they can imagine in their life and be happy with that… and with that we lie to them already, as so many factors will force them to just do something that is accepted by our ‘society’ somehow. I am not anymore a rebel that only fights against exactly that ‘society’ and tries to break free like people in the 70s already tried – I am too old for that and I am way more critical about certain things these days, even if sometimes my punk breaks free and needs its room as well from time to time ๐Ÿ˜‰

Even in SL when I started modeling, people tried to tell me what I should do and what I should not do and that made me even more angry than in real life. Again, I am always talking about things that do not hurt other people or violate the TOS and the law, I am talking about things like “You can not wear shaved hair and piercings while you are in a gown” or “You can not jump between style categories, hair colors orย  wear wings, elf ears and hooves to a casual spring dress!” or “If you blog for this store you should not blog for that store as they do not really like each other!” – WTF!!! This is SL! I can do what ever I please especially on my blog, my pictures or my wardrobe! No one pays me a monthly salary and can dictate my Second Life for that! I can make decisions and like in real life I have to be able to stand behind them even if I can not be everyones darling then, which NEVER works in both lifes anyways on a long term if you do not want to lose yourself. You have value, your life and opinions do have value… in our modern times there is no room for hate about religions, races, nations, other opinions and new inventions or fictions. Our past should have taught us, that we need free spirits to evolve and that hate never brought out any productive. Sometimes we need to know a person before we can judge about them and even if we do we should never try to limit or tell them what they should not do – we should encourage them to tell us about their ideas and ideologies and even if we decide that they are feeling right for us they feel right for them and need to be heard. I do not know, if that makes any sense and I am well aware of that a nation needs rules, traditions and laws to work, but all of that doesn’t give anyone the right to destroy others lifes, or make it miserable, as long as they are not guilty of a heavy crime. I am sick and tired of hearing what would be the best of me, when I can feel that this comments are just made out of jealousy, vindictiveness and power games. I did survive – RL and SL –ย  with going my way. I did not hurt too many people in my life and those I did hurt, if I realized it I at least had the decency to apologize and see if I could make up for what I did wrong – but you only can do that if you have friends that have the strength and grace to tell you and not just go away and talk bad behind your back. I am grateful, for all of those that stuck to me through both lifes even if I had my moments and arguments with them. They helped me to become what I am now – even if I am still no millionaire, I found luck and satisfaction in my life and as well my place in my life. There are still days, where other people try to shake and rattle my pillars and the principle, sometimes it even still hurts, but they do have a way more difficult task to do as they had to in my past. I am not saying I know everything, or I am done learning in my life… that probably never stops and I am always open minded to what ever crosses my paths, but it isn’t anymore that easy to turn my life upside down and make me question everything I experienced and learned in my life.

Just imagine, what would feel more nice if you meet a new person in your life… to look a them, judge them about their first view and words or just smile, be friendly and see what they to have to say on a second view? They might have solutions for things you did not yet found some… they might have to hide things on your first meeting as they are scared you will judge them and turn around leaving them without even really knowing them, or have given them a chance to show you who they really are? And… just turn it the other way round… how you would feel if you are judged by your cover and not even given a chance to show who you really are?

I would like to close todays post with a quote from an En Vogue song, as I really believe in that every day more, the older I get:

“Before you can read me you gotta learn how to see me, I said
Free your mind and the rest will follow
Be colour blind, don’t be so shallow.”

Clothing

Cape: ERSCH – “Devilish Joy Dress Black” (Maitreya, Gacha, Common)

Harness: OHeMO – “Olivia Body Harness” (Maitreya)

Shoes: Mosquito’s Way – “Britney” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Horns: .:E.A.Studio:. – “Horns Dracarys” – NEW @ Fetish Fair // August 2019

Forearm Sleeves: [CX] – “Lance Bracers Femme – Black” (Maitreya)

Collar: #187# – “Leashed Collar”

Piercings: *PKC* – “BDSM Bento Face Set”

Rings: : CULT :ย  – “Rou Rings Sset” (Maitreya, Bento)

Nails: FORMANAILS – “Stiletto 1” (Maitreya, Bento)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: +Spellbound+ – “Control” (part of the BoundBox, no longer avbailable)

Makeup: Zibska โ€“ โ€œNoir Pack 06โ€ (LeLutka Applier)

Lipstick: LIVIA – “Juniper Lipstick” (LeLutka Applier)

Body & Tattoos

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.3”

Forehead Tattoo: CURELESS[+] – “Onibi Markings” (Omega Applier)

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Marks: .:Avanti:. – “Rope Marks Applier” (Maitreya Applier)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Foxcity

Set:

Sari-Sari – “Puppet Skybox”

Mushilu – “0005bg Whip and Whispers complete”

BackBoneย  -“Toy Rack”

{RW} – “Hanging Chain Deco – Pewter”

Fapple – “BDSM Tool Box”

[ zerkalo ] – “Handcuff Chair – Leather”

22769 ~ [bauwerk] – “Leather Whip”

Tool for Face Expressions: LeLutka – “Axis HUD Face 1.1”

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

Bound by Prejudices

โ€œWhen dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.โ€

[Dale Carnegie]

โ€œNever judge others. You both know good and well how unexpected events can change who a person is. Always keep that in mind. You never know what someone else is experiencing within their own life.โ€

[Colleen Hoover]

How often you wondered why a certain person is not talking to you, even if you never ever had any conversation with that exact person before?

This post will be very personal out of my own experiences and opinions in my very own past and I will try my best, hoping I will make sense and will be understood right. I am not a native English Speaker so I hope that you will be lenient with me ๐Ÿ˜‰

I am sure you know that situation, if you poke someone, to get some information and then you are being ignored for a long time without any answer. The after some time you dare to ask again, because the information would be really important for you and you could not find any other source of information and again you are ignored completely. you start to be scared and question yourself what you could have done to that person before, but you cannot even remember that you ever spoke to that person before. so you think your pokes might have got lost and you take all your strength and ask a 3rd time because you think your first two attempts failed, since you heard nothing back and all of a sudden you get yelled at O.O Not with the information you asked for – more like how you can dare to ask 3 times after you got ignored already before…

That did not happen too often thank god, but those kind of situations happen here and there again and again. Usually not that harsh but in the end it hurts the same if you just wanted some information and just get silence.

I mean if you could figure it out by yourself… fine then I would not even say a word but sometimes you have to ask for information of you cannot continue working on something.

The other side of the coin… How often you caught yourself avoiding several people just because you “heard” something about them?

I was thinking about that a lot lately. sometimes I just tried to avoid people because good friends of mine had real bad experiences with them and I felt I would betray them by talking to those people or even work with them. One part of my heart – out of loyalty – still believes in that, but seeing it from a business perspective the other part of my heart calls against it.

Maybe it is part of being a human that you try to protect your true friends by not making relation ships with people who hurt them but on a business perspective should you not be open minded and not biased by some things?

What about the phrase that everyone deserves a second chance? Is it not possible to be with people not mentioning or talking about a certain person?

It is a tricky subject I guess and maybe the intensity of what has happened and as well the particular story and facts might have a great influence on that.

It would make a difference if someone was ‘just’ rejected for something or somebody, or if he or she really was personally hurt. That maybe leads to the next problem, that some people take things personal quite fast… and who would be the judge to decide if it was real bad or just a misunderstanding? I guess I did wrong decisions in that case as well but I always try to be as neutral as I can especially if it comes to business stuff. Saying that, if I maneuver myself in such situations without aiming for that (and I am good in that for what ever reason) I try to be transparent and honest with that, so every party knows very well about my role and intention.

All my life I tried to not hurt people in any ways and still it happens sometimes without me knowing it. If that happens I never did want it like that, but it happened. So I have to – if I get the chance to do so – explain why it happened and maybe apologize if that is still possible, as I probably cannot make it undone (I would if I could, ,that’s a given). I had to learn the hard way that if you have an own opinion you might hurt people with it even if you do not want to. Just because sometimes things hurt people, even if you not ever thought about.

My grandfather used to say “You are the only one that decides what can/will hurt you and what won’t”

It took a long time, until I fully understood what that means and even now, I know it does not always work. But I as well learned being open minded for new acquaintances and situations even if people tried to warn me.

Even if I sometimes wish – after having my own experiences – I would have listened, I as well got to know people different, than what I was told. I was allowed to see different and amazing sides of people who I was told to never talk to. Sometimes you need to take a risk, maybe to get your own experiences and your own point of view about people. I just can say for my own personal opinion, I probably would take the risk of being hurt again, over the fact of just being biased or ignoring/blocking people just because I was told to. Even if it is the minority in such cases, I was allowed to meet wonderful people by just ignoring warnings and having my own experiences and I would not want to miss them in my life ๐Ÿ˜‰ . Humans are different. Some do go along and some do not but without having my own experience I at least try (it does not work always 100%) to be open for my own experiences even if I might get hurt again, just because the only thing I dare to judge is myself (if that makes any sense… I hope it does).

Sometimes it is worth it to just slough off the ropes and bands that tie you down, to get up after you maybe got hurt and get rid of the bad feelings, that your experiences might have caused. The possibility that you can have a different experience with a different person is there, it just has to be made.

I try to tell that to myself everyday and most of the time it works. How we all could have learned to walk when we were young, if we would not have stood up all the time after we fell and had bruises and open knees? I am ready to get up again and to take off the blindfold and the bonds of my old experiences to make new ones, better ones and some that I never will forget. I won’t be infallible – I am human being – but I will try – every day again ๐Ÿ™‚

Details

Outfit & Accessories:

Top: Wicca’s Wardrobe – “Vixen Bra 1 & 2” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Harness: [Cynful] – “Shamless Top & Bottom” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Pantie: Enfant Terrible – “Locked Heart Chastity Belt” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Gloves: .:Avanti:. – “Domina Gloves” (Maitreya Applier)

Knee Bracers: .:Avanti:. – “Jersey Knee Warmers” (Maitreya Applier)

Shoes: [MODA] – “Dakota Heels” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Gag: ::Axix:: – “Beloved Nocturnia Gag” (Maitreya) – NEW @ Bound Box

Hair & Makeup:

Hair & Blindfold: +Spellbound+ – “Babygirl” – NEW @ Bound Box

Body & Tattoos:

Head: LeLutka – “Simone 3.0”

Body: Maitreya – “Lara 4.1”

Poses & Props:

Sari-Sari – “Puppet Skybox”

Model & Phototgrapher:

Wicca Merlin