Humanity doesn’t count anymore?

Sometimes life just a bitch… or better not life it self but the people around you who you count on. About 6 years ago, I was asked if I would like to teach again. I had studied to become a teacher but I never did the second exam, as music took over back then and in the end I never saw me as a full time teacher anyways, because I need variety on my life and that is why I chose to be a musician.

So after nearly 15 years I was asked if I could help to built up a school band at a regular school. It sounded like fun and now after 8 years I am even leasing it on my own. While I was just working on music lessons and ensemble classes,  I was asked if I could jump in with regular teaching as well, because one of the teacher of the school became sick. I thought why not and gave it a try with just a few hours per week over a couple of weeks. That apparently did work out so well, that I got asked if I could imagine to be a regular teacher as well just not full time but with a certain amount of hours per week – that was about 6 years  ago. Over the time I did well enough so they asked me for more hours per week and since all the people at this school were so nice and I anyways was there for the school band it really was a great time. I even got the leadership for the English and Music department for the school and did all the exams for that the past 4/5 years – the past 3 years all on my own. So I thought, the state – which is the employer for teachers – seems ok with me being at that school. I only got yearly contracts, but that is quite normal when you only have the first exam but not the second one.

But my work must have been good enough and it was even to see with the kids. When I started, I had one person doing the final exams in English and 2 who did Music. Now after 6 years I have 18 students doing the English exams and 12 or more who do Music. And 98% of them graduated with amazing results! For English that is not not normal in that tyle pf school as they usually already struggle with Maths and German.

And then a couple of days ago, I was told I am not longer needed. It felt like a punch right in my face. With Corona the teacher situation is anyways not the best at the moment and they tell me I am no long er needed?!? Then all of a sudden a few days later, they told me to apply again and made it very urgent, so I stopped doing what I was doing and sat down writing my application again. A day later I get an email that my application wasn’t successful and that I already had way too long contracts without having my second exam… I was like WTF? They need people and I was doing a good job with success that was visible… I just lost all trust into the world around me. With that happening they even risk the school band as they have no one who has the skills nor the will to run it. We are an inclusion school.. a school were all kids can be anyways if they are completely healthy, autistic or disabled ion any other way. That as well means you have different way of teaching and music is not just achievement-oriented, but as well a certain type or therapy. That means it is not a typical school band. I have 40 up to 78 kids every year in one band sitting in one room and half of them have their little “weakness” in what ever kind of way. I do not care about those and try to take them as they are, trying to make everything possible so they can learn an instrument, percussions or singing as well, even if the conditions are not that great. I simply enjoy the smile if a student holds a guitar and can play some sort of power chords even if their fingers are not working 100%, or an autistic that can relax while doing percussions and forget about being different than other kids. Over the years I was allowed to learn so much and I enjoyed every minute of it. We even won regular school band contests and were told we are just such a huge bunch of diversity and unique characters. And now they tell me I already had too many contracts for having no second exam?!? Experiences, workshops and seminars plus good work does not count? I have to say getting the second exam you have to teach for 2 years under the wings of an older teacher – that is all. So 6 years of successful work doesn’t make up for missing 2 years of tutored teaching?!? Seriously I do not understand the world anymore if paragraphs count more than the kids or their happiness and success. I do not know yet, what I will do as I am feeling way too hurt and broken at the moment and Corona doesn’t make it easy either to go back doing more music again or give private music lessons. I know something will pop up and make it better again – it always was like that but for now I am just speechless how people can decide over other people like that not even knowing or being interested to look deeper into their work. Humanity doesn’t count againts rules and paragraphs anymore…

Clothing

Jacket: TETRA – “Tokyo Puffer Jacket” (Maitreya)

Top: :::NOIR::: – Corey Top – Black” (Maitreya)

Pants: .: ryvolter x nu :. – “Marly Distressed Shorts – Med” (Maitreya)

Shoes: [Gos] – “Louise Trail Boots” (Maitreya)

Accessories

Piercing 1: LeLUTKA – “Ryn.Piercing.Lip.Ashley/Laubert” (part of the Ryn head)

Piercing 2: LeLUTKA – “Ryn.Piercing.Lips. Frenulum/Tongue” (part of the Ryn head)

Glasses: Earthstones – “The Yesterday (S)”

Headphones: Soy. – “S/M/P/L HeadPhone [Gray]” (Gacha)

Necklace: Elle Boutique – “Janis Choker” (Maitreya)

Hair & Makeup

Hair: no.match – “No_Freak” NEW @ COSMOPOLITAN // August 2020

Eyeliner: CAZIMI – “Basic B Eyeliners (LeLUTKA) Bonus Liners” (LeLUTKA Evo. HD Applier)

Eyeshadow: CAZIMI – “Dahlia Eyeshadow – 6 Blue 90%” (BoM)

Lipstick: CAZIMI – “Sunkissed Makeup – Lips Tint – Shape 2 – Peach – 25%” (BoM)

Head, Body & Tattoo

Ears: [CX] – “Sceleratis Ears”

Ears Add-On: Nefekalum Tattoos – “Drip Augment”

Head: LeLUTKA – “Ryn 2.0” – NEW@ Mainstore

Face Skin: [Glam Affair] – “Ryn Layer [LeLUTKA] 002 D” – NEW @ Mainstore

Body: Maitreya – “Lara v5.2”

Body Skin: [Glam Affair] – “Body – Normal 002” (Maitreya, BoM)

Tattoo: .:Vegas:. – “Tattoo Dark Geisha and the Cat” (BoM)

Poses, Props & Tools

Poses: Foxcity

Face Animation Tool: LeLutka – “Axis HUD Face 1.1”

Pose Tool: Anypose – “BVN HUD v1.6”

Location

SSOC – Rieri Ton in Tokyo

Model & Photographer

Wicca Merlin

2 thoughts on “Humanity doesn’t count anymore?

  1. So sorry to hear this Wicca. Yes. I agree…..people can be box checking, bean counting idiots.
    I would encourage you that if you really want to continue with the teaching that you fight for what you want. I think I have known you long enough to say…You are an awesome person and very good at what you do.
    If the second exam is what you need, maybe there is some way to have the work you have done these past years to count towards that goal. Maybe the people you have worked with will provide the evidence you need to qualify you for that certificate.
    I am sure you have probably done much of this. I just wanted to encourage you to keep your spirits up. You have some wonderful skills and I am sure things will work out. There is someone out there looking for a person with your special skills and heart for teaching. I will be rooting for you and hoping the perfect opportunity arises soon that will be a great fit for you and give you a new and exciting path.
    Hugs……EJ

    • Thank you so much EJ. It means a lot to read your opinion. Indeed I have looked into all of that what you said for about 2 years and found nothing that would have worked out in a way that it would have made sense. But as always… life will go on and something will come up 🙂

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