I’m lost in a dream, with a mind’s full of sadness,
I remember the good times, that we had in our madness,
Frozen tears with illusions of fire,
All of my life was filled with desire
[Axel Rudi Pell]
Sometimes you sit there, staring at your inventory and have no idea what you can do. You put on various outfits, dresses, pants, tops and nothing screams “Yes.. it’s me! Do something with me!” I am not saying, that all the stuff would be ugly or not nice… it all looks perfect and it is made amazingly, but just nothing touches you, nothing catches your eyes or heart.
There are moments in life where just nothing can grab your attention or drag your brain off some things that happen in your life. For me it was a RL situation, that really had tied up my brain and mind/mood completely. If you love your job and you put everything you have and can into it, if you even started a project and work on that for years and suddenly someone comes and tries to steal that from you and even get you kicked out from it, it really can go very deep and it does hurt like if someone rips out a part of yourself, throws it on the ground and tramples on it like crazy with a big grin in her/his face.
I do have no water available at my home at the moment, so I am very grateful, that – after a talk explaining my issue – Tour gave me the opportunity to use his sim for my experiments. While I was trying to fool with that water mirror effect, I realized, it isn’t what I wanted or my skills are not good enough to do what I had imagined. It was the first time, that I wasn’t alone while I tried to set up a scene. Tour was with me and we even had a voice conversation for some time while I was trying to find what I wanted to do. What really was fun, he as well did some snaps and we shared our visions about my project. That was quite interesting! I always thought I never could have somebody with me while doing this, but it even did inspire me somehow 🙂 Thank you Tour for your generosity to let me experiment on your land and ruining your terraforming for me, because of my need for water!
The more pictures I shot, the more my vision changed and my mind could let go of my RL situation and I found my fun back in doing weird and crazy things. My feelings and emotions changed from weak, frustrated and depressed to stubborn, stronger and willing to fight my way out of my actual mood. I rarely had so different emotions on my pixel face during a shooting I have to admit, as I usually try to make an indicating series of pictures.
Again Second Life was kind of a therapy to escape from real life, but as well it did help to free my mind again and not being stuck inside a certain situation. I am not saying SecondLife is the best therapy you can find, I am just saying sometimes it helps to allay concerns or get your brain some relief 😉
Believe me, after 12,5 years SL I know, that you need to step away from it sometimes or even shut it down for a while to solve RL problem… I hope you get the idea of what I was trying to say 😉
Since I changed the point of my blog, not only being a fashion catalog, but as well being a part of me and both of my lifes, my pictures do matter for me. After I attended Visionaire classes (I sometimes still do), it as well felt right to do so. I am not saying, fashion only blogs are not cool, I just decided for myself that I wanted to have more than just that after so many years of blogging 🙂
If you are one of those, that actually read the whole post, I would be happy if you would be brave enough to comment on it, or maybe even dare to tell about how or even if your SL does change your RL or any situations sometimes ♥